I was out at dinner this evening with The Husband, and I found myself talking about my various friends... Many of who are in the process of pursuing their dreams. They're pushing logic aside and taking control of how they want to spend their days... And going for their dreams.
And I am incredibly jealous.
"I feel like I have accomplished nothing this year," I said to The Husband. He looked at me like I was insane.
Did I not get a huge promotion at work?
Did I not go to Bikram yoga teacher training for two months?
Did I not do a little bit of travel this year?
Did I not do a 101-day Bikram yoga challenge?
I know, it is insane to think I accomplished little this year. But it is how I feel. I feel busy and incredibly bored. And it shows. I did not do any writing this year. I posted less than 200 times this year on the blog. I didn't travel to any of the places I wanted to (Africa. South America. Asia.)
While my 2010 would have been a dream year for many, it was a "scare-dee-cat" year for me. I just "went with the flow" and made little effort to guide my life. Mostly because I was constantly exhausted and burnt out. I was too paralyzed to make many things happen... Beyond the big thing of teacher training.
In 2011, things will change.
I will find my balls this year. And actually have the guts to make some changes. What those changes will be, exactly, I do not know yet. I can never quiet my mind down enough to realize what I actually want. I only know, based on how I feel, that my current life - as fabulous as it is - is not "my kind" of fabulous.
Therefore, here are my resolutions for this year:
- Be fearless.
- Blog more.
- Actually write.
It's my world. No, it's my universe. I am the center. Everything revolves around me. If not, well, then it doesn't need to be even a satellite orbiting a planet in a solar system in a galaxy in my universe.