Grand Things Don't Just Happen.

I get depression. Trust me. I spent a good majority of 2009, 2010 and 2011 in a funk. And I know form experience how difficult it can be to lift yourself out of it.

You just seem to sink deeper and deeper. And there's very little you can think of to pull yourself out. You keep waiting for something grand to happen. For the Universe to throw you a hand... To help pull you out of the water.

But nothing happens.

Now, when this happens to me (and it has... repeatedly throughout my life), I go slightly insane. Not in a bad way. It's mostly internal and it culminates in me expressing a complete dissatisfaction with my surroundings.

"I wish something big and grand would happen! Something spark some direction!"

But nothing happens. Only determination will pull you out of the abyss. And what I eventually am able to do is remind myself, "Grand things don't just happen, lady. Quit waiting for something grand to happen... And just do something grand yourself."

What do I mean by "grand?"

Anything... Provided it's fairly legal and not going to harm yourself or someone else. It could be something simple or something difficult.  But whatever it is, it sparks some inspiration and gets you motivated and pulled out of your funk.

Examples:

• Moving (I did it across country... And also to another country.)
• Coloring your hair
• Take a solo vacation (local or destinational)
• Sell your assets and go to Bikram yoga teacher training
• Start a blog, and write every day no matter how much Internet bullies tell you it sucks
• Paint your room a different color... One that makes you happy
• Quit your job (This one takes cajones)
• Go vegan
• Meditate every morning

These are all things I have done. And in each case, I was blue for a few good months.  And after a few good bouts of crying at the bleakness before me, I would do something to just push me out of my comfort zone.

"Life begins when you get out of your comfort zone."

I tell my students that when I teach a Bikram class.  But it needs to be said more often outside of a hit, humid and tough yoga class. We need to be reminded far, far more often. You're supposed to be uncertain of the future. You're supposed to be a little scared, but still be fearless.

Be grand. By whatever definition that means to you.

"It's What We Paid For You."

My how times have changed.

This weekend my Mum brought a couple of things I still have lingering at her house in the small Arizona town I grew up in near the Mexican border.

The pile included my Varsity Letterman jacket (complete with all the Varsity letters, pins and patches I received from my ambitious youth... Though, let's face it. I grew up in a small town. There wasn't much else to do BUT be ambitious.)...  My sorority composite board (the thing you see hanging in chapter houses that features the headshot of every member) from university...  My "MVC" (most valuable cheerleader) trophy from senior year in high school...  And this...

It's the receipt given to my parents upon their hospital check out after my birth.

"It's what we paid for you!" my Mum said to me.

A whole $16.40. That was my parents' portion of the bill from when my Mum checked in on April 11th and then checked out on April 15th.

The way I envision it is that Dad threw down a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change."  But I doubt they were allowed to accept tips at military hospitals in Georgia.

I think it is a very sweet thing to keep. And I'm glad my Mum gave it to me. It's going in the memory box I have at home in Toronto.

Best Oscar Dress: Michelle Williams & Louis Vuitton.

Just in case you were wondering what I thought... This was absolutely the best dress I have seen worn at the Academy Awards in a great number of years.

And I would like to point out that this lovely Louis Vuitton number (Purr! Marc Jacobs does no wrong!) is in the Pantone Color of 2012... Tangerine Tango.

The hair... The color... The sweet jewels...  Her poise... It's all adorable.

I want to immediately cut off all my hair (like I did when I was 21 - I have had her haircut already) and bleach it blonde!

Short List Of Reasons To Live: February 27, 2012.

By the time this publishes, I will be on a flight back from Arizona to New York.  (Was out west this weekend for a birthday party!) But I wanted to make sure I got it published, because I will be getting back quite late.  So here is this week's List of Short Reasons to Live..

(And I'm not repeating any from last week!)

• Game of Thrones.  We have about a month till the new season starts. This shiz just got real!
• Blow Out Bar. Yep... Trying out a new service offered a few blocks from my apartment this week. Getting my hair blown out before work at this place called Dry Bar.  Expect a write-up.
• Coloring My Hair. I can't remember when I last colored my hair. I think it was December. And I did it my self. This time, I am paying someone else to do it. And it's just across the street from me.
• New Skirt! I decided to get in the mood for Spring and purchased a new skirt for myself. I have no idea whether or not it will even look good on me.  But it should be on it's way early in the week. I can't wait!
• The Husband Visits. Not this week... But next week. And he will be here for a few days because of work.  Yay!!

Till next week!

Passive-Aggressive Notes Are Awesome.

When I come home in the evenings, I get off the elevator to my 6th floor apartment. I share the floor with three other residents... All 20-somethings.  Either they must be doing really well for themselves... Or mommy and daddy bought their places for them.

Why am I bringing that up?  Well...  It - I believe - is an example of the lack of maturity of some of them. Well, one person in particular.

At least a few nights a week, when I get home, as soon as I step off of the elevator, I am overwhelmed by the fragrant notes of a marijuana storm.  As I walk the few feet from the elevator to my apartment, I can easily tell which apartment the scent is coming from...  And it's the guy who lives across the hall from me.

Usually, he is in there smoking and spinning records.  He's a DJ.  And he does very well for himself. Works very hard, and also has a business installing sound systems.

Once I get into my apartment and close the door, I don't hear his music or smell the weed. So I have no problem with what he's doing. Quite frankly, I think it's awesome. Not something I would do... But good for him.

Well, apparently I am the coolest (and oldest) person with this... Because one of my other neighbors has a huge issue with this.

Yeah! Passive-aggressive notes always work!

I kind of feel like I should go over to Jenna and let her know that the guy whose apartment the smell is coming from also happens to be THE CONDO BOARD PRESIDENT!!!

So... Her complaint would be going to the guy with whom she has the problem.

Good times.  High times.

Anthropologie Jewelry: Worth The $$$?

I am a sucker - big time sucker - for all the amazing jewelry at Anthropologie.  It's boho... And fanulous. Chunky stones...  Bright colors... I love it.

What I don't love?

That it costs a pretty penny... And that it often falls apart - requiring me to "MacGuyver-it" back together.

I have never, ever bought a piece of jewelry from Anthroplogie and NOT had it break.  You would think I would have learned my lesson by now... But I love what they come out with, and give in to my craving.

Here are two piece that I bought in the past few years that have each broken within two months of purchasing... And I have had to fix over and over again.

Funky earrings... The stones keep popping out. Think these cost me $48.

A purple stone triple-layer necklace Santa brought me about two years ago. I had a stone on the strands break in HALF a few DAYS after getting it. So I removed it and restrung the layers. Then, over time, the rhinestones have started popping out.

Such a shame.

But even as I wrote this, I already spy stuff on the Anthropologie website that I am considering procuring.

I will probably never learn my lesson. I will always be a sucker for their stuff.

Sephora VIB Points.

"I need new make-up brushes. Let's hit up Sephora."

I was trying to squeeze a little more time with The Husband before I go back to NYC this afternoon.  But I needed to run an errand. A girlie errand.

The Husband is not a fan of Sephora. Simply because he knows I spend a lit of time and $$$$ there.  But he was a good sport, and was willing to come with me. And I knew exactly what it was I needed to get, so there wouldn't be any unnecessary dawdling.

Brushes were located quickly...

New brushes for my eye make-up. Clean and pristine! Took them up to the counter to pay, and threw down my Sephora VIB points card.

(Side note: I love that I can use my card in either the US or Canada, and the points still add up.)

"You have 823 points," the shop girl told me.  "Would you like to redeem them?"

I looked my options. I wasn't enthused by the 100-point or 500-point options.

"No thanks," I said. "I'll just keep them for now."

I smiled at The Husband.

"Try not to think about what it means that I have 823 points on my card," I said to him.

He laughed.

"Oh no," he informed me. "I know exactly what it means that you have accumulated 823 points.  And I know that you redeemed some of your points just in December."

Guilty!

I like shopping at Sephora. And spend quite a pretty penny there each year.

Short List Of Reasons To Live: February 19, 2012.

Holy shiz! It's been like three weeks since I last did this. How careless and uncommitted of me!

Gives you a bit of an idea of how busy I have these past few weeks. But now it is time to catch up...

Here is this week's Short List of Reasons to Live:

• Downton Abbey Season Finale. Well, it's tonight. So technically this only gives me a reason to live till the end of today.  But it is still critical and needs to be recognized. 
• Phoenix Next Weekend.  Friday I head to the Valley of the Sun to visit family. Haven't been to Phoenix since last May.
• Jax's First Birthday. Yay! My nephew - who is the cutest little boy ever - turns one.  His parents are throwing him a totally awesome rager. I love kids when they are so little.
• London Fashion Week. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I was fairly bored with NYFW this year. London FW just started. I have high hopes for it, and have even seen a few things I love from Issa.
• Four Weeks Till The Hunger Games. Have you read the series yet? Get off your bum and do it NOW! At least read the first book. "Sappy teenage chick lit" MY ASS.
• Four Weeks Till Mad Men Returns. I feel like there has been a whole inside me. One that began with the last season that aired in 2010. The season that left me feeling all "WTF?!?!?!"  I fear that we have jumped the shark with this show. But let's see if Matt Weiner can bring this next season back for us. 
• Four Weeks Till Spring Arrives. I really need to get my shiz together and give my Spring/Summer 2012 style purchases some serious thoughts. This isn't that far.

Till next week...

NYFW: My Favorites.

Overall, I was bored looking at the Ready-to-Wear collections. I guess because I am at an age where I envision myself actually wearing the pieces in some way.

Indulgent? Yes. But practical.

Runway fashion has always been fantasy for me, even with the RTW collections. But now I am ready to actually go out and possibly by some of these pieces.

So here is what I liked...

3.1 Phillip Lim

  

Rodarte
Diane von Furstenburg

Marc Jacobs

Envision it cut just below the knee, paired with cherry red tights and minus that hat.

J. Crew

That's NOT A Skin Tag, Lady.

About a month ago, I noticed something on my eyelid.

I was putting primer on my eyelid - which I always do before adding my eye make-up - and I noticed a tiny flap of skin on my eyelid crease.

"This must be a skin tag," I said to myself.

So I went to research them online. Turns out they are common on eyelids as you age... Since we often tend to rub our eyes a lot.

I researched how to get rid of them, and because it was on my eyelid, the best solution was to go to the doctor to have it sliced off.  Even though they are so tiny, it's still your eye.  And you don't want to eff with your eyes.

I kept meaning to make an appointment with my dermatologist. But I have been so busy that I kept putting it off for the time being. Till about two weeks ago.

The Husband was down in NYC visiting me.  One morning we woke up, and he mentioned "the thing" on my eye. It had gotten bigger. And was REALLY noticeable.

"You should get that looked at," he said.

"Yeah? You think so, buddy?" I thought. "No shit."

So an appointment was made, and this past week I saw my dermatologist. She peered at it with her magnifying glasses.

"I don't think that's a skin tag," she informed me. "It looks like a wart."

"EWWWW!" I screeched. "How the hell does one get a WART on their eyelid? I am super anal in Bikram and ONLY use my own towels to practice on on class.  And I ALWAYS stand front row, so no one is in front of me and can stick their nasty feet in my face."

"Warts are caused by viruses," she reminded me. "You could touch something on the subway, and then rub your eye and not realize you've transferred it."

She assured me she could remove it just as easily as a skin tag. But she mentioned she wanted to have it biopsied - just in case.

So a small pinch of local anesthetic, a minute of waiting for it to kick in... And she took small scissors to it.

I didn't feel a thing. And there was no blood.  She dabbed Neosporin on it, and told me to lay off the hot yoga and eye make-up for a number of days.

It is starting to heal nicely. But it looked a little red earlier this weekend.  The biopsy should confirm for her if it was just a skin tag, or indeed a wart like she thought. Either way, she said it won't come back.

And you can sure as hell bet I am going to start walking to work, rather than taking the damn subway. Going to avoid it as much as possible.

Every Last Dime.

The Husband does not like to waste anything. Especially money.

Each day, when he comes home, he empties his change into a large vase in our family room above the fireplace.  I do the same every week with the change I've accumulated in my wallet.  So we have a large amount of random change in it.

At the start of each week, The Husband goes through the vase and picks out all the two-dollar, one-dollar and quarter coins.  He uses them for the bus he takes to work, and the subway he takes home each day. He puts them in a dish by the front door so that he can scrape what he needs each day.

But since I don't live in Toronto fill time right now, I have stopped contributing to the collection.  And as a result, The Husband doesn't have as robust a collection of various dollar coins and quarters. So now he is down to using mostly these...

Dimes.

He doesn't use dimes to pay for all of his bus and subway fare... As that would be completely ridiculous and piss off other customers.  The subway/bus fare (one way) is $3.  So that would be 30 dimes he would be pumping into the fare box.  And that would mean he need to carry around 60 dimes a day to pay for the trip to work and back. 

Imagine how much that would peeve off the people behind him, as well as the fare collectors!  He's conservative with his money... Not an a-hole.

So he only takes 20 dimes a day to pay for part of his fare, and uses quarters or dollar coins to pay for the rest.  And I find it charming about him.  

A Whole Weekend Of Relaxing!

I am up in Toronto this weekend. First trip back to the Great White North that didn't involve work.  And I like it!

Before I moved back down to NYC, I had intended for all my trips back to Canada to be purely to relax and visit The Husband. But the first day I started my job, that changed.

"We're giving you Canada to figure out," I was told. This meant partnering with the agencies up here and finding opportunities to help make their offering more robust.

It sounded exciting. But that meant that every trip I took to Canada had me working. And Canada was no longer my sacred place.

But this weekend, I was adamant that I have to myself. No way was I going to work. Or so I thought. Even with the day off yesterday, I did get pulled into something while waiting for an appointment. It didn't bother me; it's what I like doing. But I had hoped to not have to put anything off to deal with work.

But now that it is Saturday, I am not doing any work. Not this time. (Though, confession: I did deal with one easy email this morning. It's hard to not always be wired in.)

And now, I am going to spend the rest of the day with The Husband. We have a fancy dinner planned for one of our favorite restaurants in the neighborhood. And I may go do some shopping in a little while.

Bag Storage When You Have No Space.

In the Toronto home, I have a walk-in closet/small dressing room. Here in NYC, I have closet the length of a small wall.

Not bad. It's certainly generous by NYC standards.  But I have been hesitant to buy lots of furniture for my bedroom here. And thus, my closet is quite over-flowing... With no dresser or table in the bedroom. (Just a bed and a mirror!)

The one group of things that takes up a lot of valuable shelf-space in my closet are my bags. I only brought my favorites down here with me, which includes a few bulky Balenciagas.  So I had to find a way to store them off the shelf.

My solution was Command Hooks.

I placed them all on the inside doors of the closet.  And it's worked out quite well.  And the hooks are easy to remove.  I love these things.

Bikram: Morning Practice Versus Later Practice.

There is a world of difference between my morning Bikram practice and my later-in-the-day practice.

There are elements of each that really suck.

The Mornings

• Stiff joints.
• Creaky knees.
• No flexibility in the spine, so backbends and side bends (think "Half Moon") are rough.
• But forward bends rock, because I have no food in me and very little liquids.
• Spine-strengthening series is actually achievable and productive.

Later-In-The-Day

• Loose joints.
• Juicy knees.
• Super flexibility in the spine. Backbends are a piece of blueberry cheesecake! And nobody goes deeper in Half Moon than me.
• Forward bends, because I have eaten and been drinking all day, SUCK ASS. And is often evry difficult.
• Spine-strengthening series is awful.

But none of these are valid excuses for skipping class or postures. Always put forth your 100% best effort.

That's what I tell myself, at least.

Like this morning... My alarm went off at 6:45am, because I had the intention of going to the 8am class.  I set my alarm to "snooze" till 7:15am. When that alarm went off, I looked at the temperature app on my phone and determined, "There is no freaking way I am going out there in this cold!"

Then, a voice inside my feeble brain said, "That is weak. Besides, wouldn't it be nice to actually do Floor Bow pose for once? You usually have so much trouble in the evening classes with it."

I was able to coax myself out of bed with this thought.

But man did my backbends suck ass!

Happy As A Canary.

Out and about shopping today when I came across this dress at Anthropologie...

Beautiful cut. I loved the silky fabric when my fingertips danced on it, checking the seems. (Something I always do when I buy a new piece of clothing.) And the color is just pure "happiness."

Pair with a bright color on your lips - like red or coral - and open-toed wedges or flats... And this makes for a gorgeous Spring/Summer look.

Yoga Kit Essentials: Balenciaga & Tom Ford.

This is just how I roll to Bikram class on Saturdays...

Yep. I pack my yoga kit in my Balenciaga "Work" bag (because hot yoga IS work!) and it includes my Tom Ford True Coral lipstick.

GLAMOUR!

Here is me before class.  No make-up at all, just the lipstick.

And here is me after a full two hours in the room, having burned close to 900 calories and sweating more than I have in a long time.

And before you accuse me of it... No, I didn't reapply the lipstick. And yes, I did kiss the floor in Locust pose (although my Locust pose sucks ass lately.)