Short List Of Reasons To Live: April 29, 2012.

Never before has a month seemed to simultaneously drag and go by in a flash.

I started my week in Florida, with the intention of enjoying some industry stuff... Thinking I had everything back in NYC at the office under control.

Holy hell was I wrong.  My mornings were filled with panels and discussions on search stuff. Then instead of dedicating my afternoons to the networking events designed for the conference I was at, I was in my hotel room working.  

I was told at one point, "You know... Just listen and say 'fuck it.'"  

Well, while I appreciated the advice, I can't really do that.  Wish I could. Or can I?  I don't like saying "can't."  And I recognize that I need to be better about listening to my instincts and doing what I want. It remains an elusive quality in me right now though.

But tomorrow is a new opportunity to start thinking that way.

Turns out I wasn't the only one who had issues to deal with when they got back into the office. One of my cohorts from the conference also had some fires to put out when they got back in the office after being out for three days.  

It never ends for people in the search industry.

No excuse. We need to be able to relax and take care better care of ourselves in general.  We should take advice from this guy...

Amen, DL. AMEN!

And with that, here is this week's Short List of Reasons to Live...

• My nieces. They both have arrived!  Finally! Now I can look forward to meeting them, as they live far away from their Auntie Missus.
• The Husband Arrives. Doh!  Even though I said Human would be coming to town this week, he emailed me on Thursday to tell me he had read his itinerary wrong. He actually wasn't coming till THIS COMING WEEKEND. Somebody please get this man a personal executive assistant. Or (as was a popular topic at the conference I was at) an iPhone 4S with Siri.
• Peony Season. I bought my first peonies of the Spring this weekend. They cost me $12 at the corner bodega. I love buying flowers in this city.
• Cinco de Mayo. Aww yeah! It's my day! And it falls on a Saturday this year.  An excuse to drink lots of margaritas - hell yeah!

Ta till next week,

The Missus

A Return To My Lover: Jonathan Adler.

Apologies, Simon Doonan. But lest you forget, you were once my lover too. I am now, however, totally into your husband. Once again.

About four or five-ish years ago, I had the hots for Jonathan Adler. I was smitten by his Dolls ceramic container.  The Husband wasn't on board with me getting one, as it did not go with "our" style. Since then, I have stopped giving a crap about "our" style, as really, it was more "his." (Though, to his defense, he did not realize I was mostly appeasing him and defaulting to his style.)

So I overcame my desire for Jonathan Adler, and moved onto other stuff. Like John Derian.

Then, about two years ago, I started falling back in "like" with Jonathan Adler. His "happy chic" pieces are colorful and fun.  And the piece I coveted most was one of these...

A Moroccan Pouf.

Yes, I finally bought one.

While at the store this weekend (and there are FOUR of the in this city), I spotted something else that makes me happy and is quite chic...

The Carnaby Lamp.

  

Thinking one of these may look good in my office at work.  The lighting is terrible, even though I have a window.  I just deplore overhead lighting and much prefer "task" lighting.

Mr. Adler, I will never leave you again.

Short List Of Reasons To Live: Florida Edition.

Last week, Providenciales... This week, an island off of Fort Myers, Florida...

Travel is always welcome, whether it be for work or pleasure...  Provided that it is to some place warm and awesome. And coincidentally, I got to catch up with my friends Bail and Frogger last week when I got back from Providenciales... And we got to talking about a potential trip to Spain and Istanbul later this year.

Hoping that pans out.  It would be on the "Short List of Reasons to Live" for MONTHS.  But for now, here is this week's list...

• Arizona Sofia. Still awaiting the arrival of my Arizona niece. She has yet to come out of the womb. And I anxiously await what I am sure will be a wonderful and divine little spirit.
• Human Coming to Town. The Husband will be arriving for a long weekend in NYC on Friday. This means I need to get my act together and plan something for us to do on Saturday afternoon/evening.
• 30-Day Bikram Yoga Challenge. I know. You're thinking, "Betch, please. You keep playin' like your gonna do one. But you ain't done shiz with yo practice since yo ass got back from Bikram Yoga Teacher Training in 2010."  You're right. But I managed to clear my schedule of all travel for late April/May. (Okay. So truth be told: I have to renew my passport. So I can't go anywhere.) So I can finally commit to doing a challenge again.
• Arizona Baby. Wonderful and blessed news! Not only did I have a niece born in Australia last week and have one due in Arizona this week... But I found out this past weekend that my sister Red is expecting her first baby this Fall in Arizona!  As an adult, it feels a wee bit "magical" to have so many little ones being born so close in age.  My siblings and I all range 3 to 5 years apart in birth order.  So we barely went to the same school at the same time as each other, if at all. Seeing young cousins born closely together means my Mum and Dad will be quite busy with multiple grandkids to watch. And I as the NYC/Toronto Auntie can spoil them with awesome sleepovers, movies, candy, gum, toys and such! I get all of the fun, and barely any of the responsibility!

"Ta" till next week!

-The Missus

Detox Acupuncture & A Rub-Down With Caster Oil.

I always forget how much acupuncture zaps your energy right after.

As a birthday treat, Frogger and Bail met me for dinner after I got back from vacation this week.  I don't get to see them as often as I would like, since they live in Boston... But I see them more often than I did when I lived in Toronto.  At dinner, they surprised me with one of my favorite things: A gift certificate to Exhale Spa.

YAY!

I've been going to exhale for - gosh - seven years now. Sure, it's pretty much a corporate spa now, with all of their locations (they even have one in the Turks and Caicos), but it has unique treatments.  Facials... Massages...  Been there. Done that.  Acupuncture? Did that five years ago at Exhale.  But a different treatment caught my eye when I was browsing the website to try to find what I wanted to use my gift certificate on.  I ended up choosing a type of detox acupuncture.  But it was different...

It involved caster oil.

"Caster oil and needles? How does that even work?" I asked myself. So I booked to find out, and went this morning.

Standard questions are asked - some very personal.  But I am used to it.  You take off your robe, and towels are draped over the body.  The acupuncture is done first, with specific emphasis on the areas that need to be detoxed. This is based on the answers given to the questions, which help guide the healer to focus on specific points.

I am used to acupuncture needles. But when you have blocked energy at certain points, when the needle initially goes in it does feel a little "jabby." But only for a brief second.

The healer needed a much bigger needle for my third eye.

"You aren't able to quiet your mind so easily, are you?" I was asked.

Obviously, I thought.

The needles rested in my points for about 20 minutes.  After that, the healer came back and removed them from my spleen and liver areas. She then poured caster oil on my belly and did a deep-tissue massage, focusing on these two organs that are critical to filtering out the bad stuff from your blood and body.

The massage hurt a little.  These areas were a little tender.

After it was done, and the caster oil was wiped away and the needles all take out, I was given the standard reminder of drinking water and being mindful of what I ate.

I felt relaxed.  A little dream-like.

"Typical acupuncture hangover," I told myself.

Now, as the day has gone on, I find myself getting drowsier and drowsier.  But it was worth it.

Yoga Cures By Tara Stiles.

The main reason I practice yoga (admittedly - not as often as I would like) is because I believe in its power to heal.  (I also believe this with diet too.)  Despite being a passionate Bikram practitioner and certified Bikram teacher, I believe in all kinds of yoga practices. I find it all to be relevant and good, especially when it is preaches "healing."

That's why when I was offered the chance to review Tara Stiles new book, Yoga Cures, I jumped at the chance.



This kind of thing is right up my alley!

The book includes specific sequences to execute in order to heal yourself...

Anxiety? ADHD? Monkey Mind? Menstrual Cramps?  There are sequences for them all in the pages of the book. There are sequences to help push you through low tides in energy.  There are sequences to help with vertigo, cellulite, arthritis. There's even a sequence for wrinkles!  

My favorite is the "Laziness" sequence.  It was easy enough for me to do in my office yesterday afternoon while procrastinating on some things.

Love the book.  Find it to be a valuable resource. My only wish is that they consider developing a complimentary app based on the sequences.

Tara Stiles already has an app with Deepak Chopra that covers poses and general sequences. But it doesn't provide the "healing" approach as the book does. It would be great while traveling, for example, to be able to go to my iPhone and pull up a sequence in the morning to help with a hangover.

Definitely a book to add to your arsenal of education on how to better communicate with your body.

Marc Jacobs & Baby Clothes?

Where have I been?

I had no idea that Marc Jacobs did clothes for babies!  ADORABLE!

"This Is Just Like The Damn Muppets Movie."

Oh I so get a big FAIL for my vacation skills.

Whenever I go on vacation anywhere, I keep my iPhone/iPad/Macbook nearby so that I can at least keep up with emails.  Doesn't matter where in the world I am... If there is a WiFi connect or a 3G network to tap into, you can bet I will be responding to emails - DESPITE what my out of office message says.

A lot of my job nowadays involves "problem solving." And I love doing that. And I have an "itchy trigger finger" just thinking about emails with concerns and issues piling up in my inbox.

Why let it sit when I can blast off a quick email that may be able to provide some additional insight?

No matter what, though...  I can honestly say I will never ever be one of those people who can go on vacation and fully clock out.  Yes, I recognize this could be bad. But I am not particularly motivated to change it anytime soon.

There was an epiphany The Husband and I had yesterday about our vacation habits, which may lead to some changes that will require me to actually not be able to log in to emails while on "vacation."

The Husband and I have been coming to Providenciales for the past six years.  We have been five times in these past six years. We only skipped coming the year we spent our vacation budget to go to Australia for a wedding. In those five trips, we have developed patterns...

• We wake up, eat breakfast in our condo.
• We go to the beach all morning, slathered in high SPF sunblock and sit under an umbrella reading.
• The Husband walks along the beach. I used to... But it's the same beach as always, and have no desire to be out in the Sun from underneath the umbrella.
• We eat lunch at the cafe by the pool.
• The afternoon is spent by the pool, sitting under an umbrella, reading.
• Dinner is either at the cafe or in the condo.
• We fall asleep early.

All the while, I am logged in via some Apple gadget to Internet and email... Blissfully staying connected while in the tropics.

But last night, I made a comment that made us both realize that we are kind of bored of this place...

"Why don't you ever want to go for a walk on the beach?" The Husband asked.

"Ugh," I respond. "It's the same beach as ever. Nothing changes. I'd rather be under an umbrella reading."

"Why don't you ever go into the water?" he continues with his line of questioning.

"Ugh," I respond. "You know I don't like to get my ears wet. I'm fine with just dipping my toes in."


"Do you even like coming here?" he asks.

"I like spending time with you," I said. "And you came to Florida with me and my family in January. So I am happy to come here with you."


"Um," he says.  "I only wanted to come here because I thought you liked coming here."


"I like coming here fine," I said. "But I am kind of bored of this place at this point."


"Shit," he says.  "This is just like the 'Muppets' movie, isn't it?"

I look at him and laugh.

"Yup, dude. I think it is."

For reference, last November The Husband and I were rushing to get to the theater in Toronto's Dundas Square so we could catch a showing of the new Muppets movie.  It wasn't until after the movie, when we were asking each other what the other thought that we realized neither one of us actually wanted to see the movie.  We, for some reason, were convinced it was the other person who wanted to see it... And we were being good spouses by doing them a favor.

I feel like there is a lesson in here about "active listening" that we need to recognize.

The plan is for us to take a vacation later this year in which we both are able to actually not be attached to our communication devices.

We'll pass this vacation test with a high score yet!

Sartorial Spring & Summer.

I envy those who aren't overwhelmed by Pinterest.  It's take a few days into my vacation to find time to sit down and start really pinning.

I joined Pinterest last July.  And it was only today that I got a little bit focused and started putting together a Sartorial board for stuff that I am loving this Spring/Summer season.

And looking at my pins, I am loving color...

Shame On Me.

This has bothered me for a few months now.  And I have avoided outright posting about it, but now feel compelled to post about it in the hopes of closure on the matter.

A few months back, I was at a social event.  At this social event, I encountered a woman whom I had met a few years back.  Still a lovely person. But something was changed.

When I had first met her, she seemed calm...  Intelligent...  Thoughtful...  In the five minutes I spent talking to her at this event though, it was clear she was no longer calm or thoughtful. Though, very much still intelligent.... Just extremely bored.

Here's what happened...

I was sipping some wine and chatting with her when up came the topic of "children."  The Husband and I have been married for almost eight years now. And while there was a year where we were trying to relax so that I could maybe get pregnant and have one, the majority of our marriage has been spent with no interest in having kids.  (At least not right now.)

My comment to the woman, in response to her question about if we were "planning to have kids," (which by the way, I have absolutely no problem with people asking me) I mentioned that I was living in NYC full time now.

"Why?" she wondered, logically.

"Because I had a great opportunity to go down there and work," I said. "I couldn't pass it up."

"Um," she said with a smirk, "You realize you don't have to work, right?"

This is where I got confused. Because the woman I had met years earlier would NEVER have said that to me.

But rather than get angry, I simply said, "Oh yes. I do realize that no one in life really has to work. I just happen to enjoy it. I've tried being a housewife.  I am not calm enough to do that full time. I'm too anxious and paranoid."

Total truth.  I am too anxious and paranoid to not work. And I was proud of myself for not snapping back at her.  I realized very quickly that when I met her years ago, her kids were still little.  Now, five years later, her kids are fairly self-sufficient. And I imagine she is a little bit bored. And now, instead of the "calm-thoughtful-intelligent" woman I remembered meeting... I was now interacting with the "bored-probably-on-anti-depressants-intelligence-lost-in-the-depths-of-the-boredom" lady.

But really, who am I to make that judgement? I am sure she is very happy with her life.

Why am I writing about this?  Well, because I recently had another similar experience where my reaction was "WTF?!?!?"

The Husband and I, since deciding to live in two cities, have had a few people taken aback by our decision.  They would ask, "Really? Why would you live apart?"

Perfectly logical question; that I recognize. The answer is, "I have the chance for even more success in the States right now. I am going to pursue it. My partner is very supportive of that."

And I had hoped that this would be enough of an answer for them. But it appears not.

"But your husband is so successful. Why would you even bother?"

This is where my husband jumps in with his response analysis of, "Even if one of us were making millions of dollars, we wouldn't expect the other to give up what they wanted to do just to follow us. If she were making millions of dollars, I wouldn't give up what I am doing to follow her.  If I were making millions of dollars, she wouldn't give up what she's doing... And why should she?"

I will note that the main reason we are able to live this way is because other than our house, we have no joint responsibilities.  We have no kids. We have no pets. No elderly parents to take care of. You know... Shit I would prioritize over my job if I had them.

It irks me greatly that it throws people off when they learn about our situation and they come across as, "that just doesn't make sense. It's not how it is done."

And then I slap my hands over my head.

Shame on me for wanting my own, independent success... And doing, ethically, what it takes to achieve it.

But now that I have finally written about it, I can let it go.

Short List Of Reasons To Live: Vacation 2012 Edition.

Busy and crazy week I had. Now in the British West Indies, sitting on my balcony, watching the white waves in the aqua ocean and admiring the sunshine brightening the colors of everything around me. And because the wireless in my suite is actually working, it seems like this is a good opportunity to list out this week's Short List of Reasons to Live...

• Nieces. One was born Saturday morning in Australia. No name decided upon yet. The other one will likely come this week in Arizona. I am jazzed about having at least a few people in which to bequeath my collection of shoes and bags some day.
• Work! Just as I was looking forward to my vacation for a great while... After two days, I am ready to be back at work. Thursday can't come fast enough.
• The Ringer. Season finale of The Ringer is this Tuesday! Hoping I can figure out which channel down here is the CW. Last week's episode had me on edge.

I think a lunchtime cocktail is calling me now. Must run. XOXO - The Missus

Birthday 35. Year Three.

Quite a change this year from last year, as far as birthdays go.  Being 35, besides being of age to run for president, has brought on some unique developments in my taste... But I will save that for another post.

This post is all about my annual tradition of "doing my numbers," as my friend Frogger likes to say.

This year, I began a Year Three in the Nine Year Numerology Cycle.

For those of you not familiar with my annual post from the past five years...  According to numerology, you move through life in nine year cycles. There is a simple calculation for figuring out what year you are in within your cycle.  And each year carries its own characteristics in relation to where you are in the cycle.

Being in a Year Three... Well, let me review Year Two, actually.

Going into Year Two, here is what I was aware of:

• Sit back.
• Keep goals in sight.
• No being aggressive.
• Prepare to make decisions.
• Meditate. Concentrate.

I failed at all of the above.  As far as I am concerned.  Year Two was a year where I made some serious decisions. I was not at all good at the whole "meditate" and "concentrate" bit. And that's probably why I am more anxious now.

So Year Three...

• This is a year about "love." (My first thought upon reading that is, "Sweet eff-ing hell! No sappy shit!")
• It is about art, creativity and relationships. 
• It is an emotional year... And one where I need to allow my mind to be receptive and led. (Following intuition.)
• It is a year of creating around you the future you want for yourself for the rest of the Nine Year cycle.
• "We become what we love."

Well... This actually sounds lovely. And here is what I take away from it:

1. Learn to play the banjo.
2. Dedicate time to writing every day. (Not just blogging.)
3. Get in the hot room at the end of each day, and allow the mind to take a break for 90 minutes. (Allow it to be led.)
4. Spend time focused on doing what I love.

Well this doesn't sound so bad.

"Relaxing" = "Boredom" To Some. Well, To Me.

Reminder to myself: You do not like sitting in the sun. Therefore, why do you insist on taking beach vacations?

I am on vacation. And so far... No surprise... I am extremely bored.

The last time I was here in Providenciales, I created a new site. One which completely fell off the map when I got back to work and became ridiculously busy.

I need a vacation where there is stuff to see and do. The whole, "Sit back and chill out" mentality does not work. And I now know that it probably never will.

Here is how I spent yesterday afternoon...

I am now halfway through Hemingway's memoir from his early days in Paris.  I sat out on the screened in balcony reading all afternoon. Today, the Internet connection is better in the room. So I will likely be online reading most of the day.

The Husband is a wee bit peeved with me, as I never am able to really "relax" when I come here with him. I think this demonstrates how different we are.  My mind never shuts down, and I am always processing and producing in the deep folds of my cerebrum. And I am fine with this. I actually have no issues with this trait.

It's more about the people around me, and how they react to this trait.

I've am happy with being the anxious, "always on," pensive but slightly witty person I have always been. The only time I question how I am is when dealing with others who don't seem to like someone "relaxing" differently than them.

I find their energy "blocking."

I wonder if Hemingway ever felt this way? From what I've read, he seems to have surrounded himself by others like him... My instinct tells me he wasn't ever really "blocked."

Lucky bastard.

"You Can Be President Now."

Been a hectic week... But am now in the West Indies on vacation.

FINALLY!

But before I left, I did get the chance to celebrate my birthday.  And it wasn't just any birthday... A my friend Bail pointed out, "You are old enough to run for president now."

"Damn right!" was what I should have thought, given my nature of self confidence.  But what I really thought was, "Oh shit! I am not mature or responsible enough to do that job. It's meant for far, far more qualified people."

I received that birthday greeting from Bail while sipping a glass of sauvignon blanc at a hotel bar. Despite it being my birthday, I had a work function to attend. And I was waiting for my cohorts, who were from out of town, and flipping through emails I had missed during the day. After receiving it, I sat there thinking about my age... But not in the way I think other people tend to when they hit their mid-30s.

"Gosh... 35. I still have at least 50 more years of life left.  WTF am I going to do for the next 50 years?"

I was waiting for my evening companions for a while, so I was able to enjoy two glasses of wine while waiting.  And anyone who knows me even slightly well (as my evening companions probably do now), I don't handle alcohol well.

That is to say, "I get drunk very easy."

Always have. Always will.

Two glasses in under an hour... I was talking NON STOP.  And of absolutely no use to anyone as we tried to take a car half a mile to a restaurant.  You would think the car service driver would know where he was going, but you would be wrong. We ended up driving around for 45 minutes in lower Manhattan, because the driver had absolutely no concept of the smaller streets in the area.

(And being a mature 35 year old, here is my tip for those of you who do not live but only visit Manhattan, "Trust only yellow cabs."

Yellow cabs know where they are going. Car service drivers are scammers. Not all the time. When you call them to pre-book a ride, they are good. But if you hail one off the street and ask it to take you somewhere, it will be useless.)

Eventually we got to the restaurant for dinner. I had a third glass of wine and a small glass of sake over three hours.

I am shocked I was still standing. Four drinks in four hours???

The rest of the evening was a lot of the same: Traveling from location to location... Sipping a drink and listening to loud music. It was fun. And the evening ended at about 1:30am.

"This is very late for me," I thought to myself. "I have an early flight out tomorrow. This is bad form. I will only get about three hours of sleep tonight. I will should set a few alarms tonight to make sure I don't sleep through."

Then I realized I wasn't lacking in maturity.  I never have been. I've always been very responsible.  If anything, I am too anxious and rarely take the time to recognize a proper adventure. 

I should run for president. That's what I can do with some of my next 50 years. Find a way to get elected.

"Can I Just Have A Nap?"

I actually got to a Bikram class this evening. The humidity was great (62%) and temperature felt good (105 degrees). And for once, I was properly hydrated. But despite being prepared, I found myself having a bad class.

All I wanted to do was lie down and take a nap.

I could not stop yawning all throughout class. So many times I thought I was going to fall over in the Standing Series... But not because I was exhausted physically (I was, though)... More so because I just could not keep my eyes open.

I've never had this happen in a Bikram class.  Even at Teacher Training, when we were all severely sleep-deprived. Normally I can find the energy to push through class. But tonight, I just wanted to close my eyes and sleep.

Just shows you... No two Bikram classes are alike. You never know what to expect.

"I Have To Leave At 5:30 To Get To Zumba."

I've been having a conversation - a few of them actually - over on Facebook around Sheryl Sandberg and a few of her viewpoints from recent days.

In particular, her comments around "work life balance"and initially feeling "guilt over leaving at 5:30pm to get home to her family" have rubbed me the wrong way.

To summarize it for you, if you haven't read it, she says that "There is no such thing as work life balance," and that the two things people have going for them are "work" and "life." But don't expect there to be a balance between them.  She also commented on how she only recently began openly sharing that she leaves work at 5:30pm to get home to see her family. She intimates that she felt guilty about admitting this for a number of years.

It seems like Sandberg has a focus on coming to the personnel table with the viewpoint only of a "mom"... Which is understandable. But I really would hope a woman with her position and influence would come to the table as a "human being."

I have yet to see her speak about how we all (women and men together) should be fine with leaving or NOT LEAVING work at 5:30pm. Forget the idea that people leave promptly at because they have to take care of family (children, elderly parents, etc...) This is a chance to stand up and change how Americans work altogether.... Not just piecing out one segment of the work population.

• What about those of us who don't have kids?
• What about those of us who are single?

Women and men should feel free to leave at the end of their 8-8.5 hour work day because it's the end of the day. And if deadlines are being set reasonably and being met... No one should feel guilty leaving when "quitting time" rolls around.

I also have an issue with another comment Sandberg makes in the article about how women often have to trade off between "success and likability."

What?

Maybe if you aren't confident in what you're doing, you do. But I don't find that at all. And I think it is important that we not perpetuate that idea. What we should be doing is teaching both women and men (from an early age) that there is a way to be successful and likable. And that it won't be tolerated to have a double-standard.

My issue is that there seems to be a commitment from her to the idea that "if you want to be successful, be prepared to be seen as a bitch."

"A woman, if you're most intelligent or most likely to succeed, that's an embarrassing thing or something that's not considered attractive, and that's something we need to change."

Well, eff that.

I think most of us would say our parents raised us to not be assholes. "Do unto others as you would have done unto you"...  It's only when our agendas don't sync up that you find yourself butting heads with people. And when that happens, one can easily be pegged as being "difficult" or "an asshole."

I say that's just a part of life.

Be nice to people. But realize that not everyone is going to be in harmony with your plans. And when that happens, you just have to decide if you want to compromise (which isn't a bad thing!) and when to go a different direction.

I don't allow people to make me feel like I should be embarrassed for any piece of success I've had. And I sure as hell would never allow anyone around me to make a comment about any person (male or female) I work with that indicates that person is not "likable" because they are "kicking ass and taking names."

I guess, bottom line is, "I don't care if you don't like me because I am doing something you aren't/don't like... I am still getting the job done." And both women AND men should carry that attitude. It's not women against men. Or mummies and daddies against non-parents.

Again... I really wish Sandberg and all her influence would have said (as my friend L wrote on Facebook), "Yeah, I leave work at 5:30pm so I can get to Zumba." 

Or something to that effect.

Just because people don't have kids/husband/family to take care of doesn't mean what they prioritize is any less relevant. So the argument should be...

"Work is a part of life. You should find joy in what you do to earn a living. If you don't, either find a way to have harmony with your job... or just get a new job. And your non-work life is valid and should be rich with experiences... Whatever you choose to do with that time. So at the end of each day, be confident in what you produced that day and leave to go pursue what also pulls at your interest."

Short List Of Reasons To Live: Easter 2012 Edition.

I stopped practicing Catholicism when I was 14 years old. (Not a fan of the community the church tends to have attending it... And also, had issues with their limited views of the role of women and reproductive rights... Though very much believe in God, Jesus, the Virgin Mary and the whole shebang.) So Easter hasn't been a huge holiday for me in the past 21 years. More so as I became an adult.

I nearly forgot today was Easter until Friday when people were going on about decorating Easter Eggs, Bikram yoga studios posting their revised schedules for the weekend and everyone I know on Facebook posting this photo...

In fact, bad Gentile that I am...  I KNEW it was Passover this weekend and didn't bother to realize it was also Easter.

If I was still a practicing Catholic, my C-card would be revoked. No Holy Communion Eucharist... No Holy Communion Wine (which I have never had anyways... Mum would never allow us)... No Stations of the Cross (practicing for which when I was 14 occurred an incident that solidified my decision to not be a practicing Catholic)... I would be kicked out and forever done-zo in their eyes.

But that aside... Happy Easter and Happy Passover to all my religious peeps out there! May your brisket have been tender and wonderful this past Friday night (my Jewish friends)... And your honey baked ham (for my Gentile friends) have been juicy and "whatever else honey baked ham is supposed to be - as it is one reason I like to abstain from Easter... It is a holiday that seems to put a preference on eating a pig's ass as the main dish"...

With that said, here is this week's Short List of Reasons to Live:

• BIRTHDAY WEEK! It is ON! I turn 35 this week.  And, just so you know, 35 is the NEW 35! Yep, you read that right. I think it is stupid and silly to pretend that one doesn't age, or that one's age is just a number - but what they really are is 10 years younger in feeling than they are.  (I should probably do a post about this whole concept.) Anyway, this week is going to be awesome.  Birthdays always are.
• VACATION! Finally. It's here! Friday I hop a plane in NYC. The Husband hops a plane in Toronto. We meet in Providenciales, Turks and Caicos. We're trying out a new condo resort this time - one that's closer to the grocery store and night life.
• NIECES! Both my sister-in-laws (one from The Husband's side, one from my side) are ready to EXPLODE this week, each with a niece for me! I have procured Diane von Furstenburg baby girl faux-wrap dresses (they don't, unfortunately, make Louboutins in baby size.)
• TAXES! Whoa... What's exciting about it being "Tax Week?" For me, just that my taxes are DONE! And being e-filed this week.

C'est la vie! For now, anyways.

Fan Fair: My INSPIRATIONS.

The last in my Fan Fair series...

Favorite Place In The World:
To live? New York City. Though, I do feel myself being pulled back to my desert roots of Arizona.  I definitely see myself moving back there eventually.

To visit? Rome and Providenciales.

Who Inspires Me:
Tina Fey (Creative)
Steve Martin (Creative)
Hillary Clinton (Work Ethic & Feminism)
New York City Streets (Style)

Necessary Extravagance:
NYC apartment in Chelsea. I could live in Brooklyn again. Or I could truck myself up to the East Side. Both offer cheaper apartments. But being in Chelsea, for now, suits me quite nicely.

I will also say my Starbucks and taxi cabs to work habit are a bit out of control lately.  Both are too easy to access.  And I must dial at least the taxi cab habit back.

Favorite Movie:
This changes all the time. But my current two are "All About Eve" and "Midnight in Paris."

Favorite Shopping Mecca:
New York City's Meatpacking District. Has anything and everything you need.

Favorite Hotel:
I've stayed at some nice hotels in my time...  So it's hard to pick one. I did love the Hotel Homs in Rome. It's certainly not as luxurious and spacious as some of the other places I have stayed... But it's location near the Spanish Steps can't be beat. And when I travel, I don't spend much time in the room.

Favorite Color:
Coral Red and Inky Indigo.

Vacation Beach Reads.

Vacation starts this coming Friday for me.  I get five days on a beach in the West Indies.  All I need to make this qualify as a good vacation vacation are:

• 100 SPF sunblock
• Beach umbrella
• Beach chair
• Sunshine
• The occasional glass of wine
• A Wifi connection
• The Husband
• Something to read
• Make that a couple of somethings to read

I need at least three to four books to devour while on vacation. I have gotten a few recommendations from people (the Fifty Shades of Gray series), but reading the synopses do nothing for me.  But while walking the aisles of Barnes and Noble yesterday, I found two classics that caught my eye...

Sylvia Plath's "The Bell Jar" and Ernest Hemingway's memoir A Moveable Feast."

Truth be told... The Hemingway book caught my eye because I love Woody Allen's "Midnight in Paris." One of my favorite movies of all time.

I still need at least one book to get me through those five days.  I have downloaded the first Game of Thrones book. So maybe that will suffice. But if you have any recommendations for me, please leave them in the comments.

That's Me.

Texts From Hillary.

Newest guilty pleasure... Texts from Hillary.

Pure genius.

Words With Human.

The Husband (Human) and I have reached a new echelon of deep, meaningful communication in our nearly 8-year marriage. One that provides us with a more intimate and rewarding sense of teamwork.

Words with Friends...

The Husband is turning into quite the non-Luddite lately. And getting close to being able to kick my ass at the game. I'm only 20 points ahead of him... And it's his turn to go.

I never thought this day would come.  But I can happily say that the man I am married to today is not the man I married 8 years ago. He is more enlightened** now.  And I am blessed.






**I do still worry about him forgetting that he can't put metal in the microwave, though.

"You're Beyond Working Late & Having To Work In Excel."

I can never take myself offline.

When I go on vacation, I continue to check emails. I check stuff on weekends and even often find myself lured to powering through the last few things at work each night... Being the first one in the office in the morning and the last one to leave at night.

And I'm the boss. That's not how it's supposed to be, is it? Or, is it?

I was at the office late one night last week with a few of my team members.  One of them walked past my office and looked at my screen...

"Why are you still here? And why are YOU working in Excel?" he asked, confused.

"Um," I said startled. "Why would I not be?"

He laughed.

"At my last company," he began to explain, "My boss said that he was beyond working in Excel at this point. He said it was something someone at his level shouldn't be doing."

I get the point. And to my dismay, I see it often in the Search Marketing industry...

"The higher up you get, the less you pay attention to the details and only focus on the big strategy and high level stuff."

Or so the "explanation" goes.  I think that's crap though. Complete and total B.S. Here's why...

As the Search Marketing industry has grown and evolved (at least in the 9 years that I have been working in it), the one thing that has remained absolutely constant in that time is that change is inevitable.  And in order to stay on top of the latest in best practices, strategy and executional tactics, you HAVE to be able to  roll up your sleeves and dig in sometimes. Not often. But occasionally.  

The biggest reason why I find myself jumping in and doing stuff on rare occasions with client work is to help alleviate the load on my team's plate. We work at a pretty big agency with top-tier brands.  Whatever they want, we give them. We are the Search Marketing experts, but if a client wants a report on performance for an account that they launched just yesterday... And the team has a ton of tactical and optimization stuff they have to do... Dropping everything to do the report for the client is not always possible in their bandwidth.

So yes, I will jump in and help out. Damn right I will.

Plus, once you stop using Excel... You lose the shortcuts and formulas that have become second-nature. And I personally like flexing my Excel muscles. (I actually flex them more often than my real muscles lately.)

Plus, since I manage the business decisions for my group (the hiring of employees, the parting of ways of employees, the promotions, the pricing of deals - for the most part), all the things I use to track that stuff is Excel-based. So in order to make the best decisions and forecast where the business is going, Excel is essential.

I explained this to my team member.  He got it.  But it was a very different approach to my role than what he had seen at his last agency.

"That's why you work for me," I told him. "I actually know what I am doing when it comes to Search Marketing... And when it comes to running the business."

It appeared to resonate with him, and gain me a different level of respect beyond just being "the person in charge."  

I will never be a Search executive who only focuses on high-level stuff, comes in at 9:30am and leaves at 5pm. 

The "Mad Men" way of doing things has long since passed. And anyone trying to live that way is lazy... And in my opinion, sexist.

In order to win loyalty from the "Millennial" crowd of Search Marketing people in the industry, you can't be the "visible-yet-absent" leader.  I'm certainly not saying that all Search leaders need to be doing things the way I do... But I am saying it has multiple benefits; between helping with the attrition problem rampant in the industry and being able to really understand what you should be creating for clients.

Besides... at the end of the day, beyond the paycheck and big client names... What makes me most happy is the performance and results driven by the campaigns and optimizations we create.

Bikram 101. NOT!

Such ambition... Such a lack of drive.

Two years ago, I completed a Bikram 101-Day Challenge. I wanted to do it to show myself I was ready to go to Bikram Yoga Teacher Training. My practice was the best it had ever been after that challenge.

Then it went to shit.

Especially when I went to teacher training.  My practice got so bad at training. My body broke down. I developed acid reflux - really badly. Then when I got back from training, I focused more on teaching and working my full time corporate job.  So my practice really went to crap. And has stayed there.

I had hoped to do a Bikram 101-Day Challenge again this year, finishing it this weekend. That was not meant to be, though.

Between my travel schedule, work schedule and spending time with The Husband... I completely failed at the challenge. In fact, I only went 23 times.

Only 23 times in 101 days.

That's pathetic.

It's time to start prioritizing my practice. Above all else. And I mean, ALL ELSE. No exceptions. I am done having my health take a lower run on the priority ladder.

Short List Of Reasons To Live: April 1, 2012.

Happy April Fool's Day!

So far, the only worthwhile "joke" has been WestJet's KargoKids offering...



It's a new month and a new week...  Here is my Short List of Reasons to Live this week:

• Vacation!  It's less than two weeks till I hit the beach in Providenciales.  I need to put together my reading list.  I am so ready for the vacation.
• Birthday.  Also less than two weeks till my birthday. I've already received The Husband's present. So it's really just about looking forward towards the day at this point.
• Babies!  My two nieces (not twins) could be arriving at any moment.  My guess is that they will be born the week of my birthday.  One in Australia. One in Arizona. Until this weekend, I was actually expecting them to have the same first name... As each of my sister-in-laws had chosen the same one. But one changed her mind about it, and has more or less moved onto a different name.
• Summer. Spring only just began. But April and May always fly by pretty quickly. So it's time to start thinking about everything I want to do this summer, with all my summer Fridays.
• MoMA. I am going to the MoMA on Friday.  I haven't been since 2000. I am due for some culture.