I've Been Gone. Not Sorry About It.

 Life isn't a full 180 from where it was two months ago. But it is a bit different. And I was planning for it to be. 

I was due change. I was owed an energy shift in my favor. 

First... For a few months, I had been working covertly on moving on from my agency job. My plan had been to full-time freelance/fractional, and I'd been building up my thought leadership around my area of expertise. However, in April an opportunity landed on my plate to pursue... And now I find myself in a very different role subject-matter wise, but not day-to-day action wise. 

This new role has me getting up each morning, putting on a dress and heels, and driving eight minutes to an office where I oversee things. People meet with me. They expect my opinion.

I'm good at all of those things. And it's great to be in a role where that's the key reason why they hired me. 

And it's incredibly different from the agency lifestyle I had gotten used to over the past two decades. 

I have time to think during the day. I can actually block off deep-thinking time on my calendar. I leave on time. I take walks around downtown Tucson during the day. Sometimes twice. I have a board I work with who are gracious and helpful. I am part of an executive team that wants me to use all my experience running agencies to bring ideas to the table. 

No one is taking my ideas and not crediting me/pretending the idea came from the ether. That's huge for me, in terms of shift.

So each morning, at about 7:45am, I kiss my dog goodbye for the day and leave the house for about 9.5 hours.

I have the highest job title I've ever had, and am making the most money ever. All in a market where I started my career making less than $19k a year.

Second, prior to accepting this job, I had to quit the last one. And there was a lot to do before I left:

• One last trip to a tropical destination to sit for a few days in conference rooms talking about A.I. and its impact on marketing. (I've become a defacto thought leader in this space.)
• One last round of performance reviews and making the case for salary increases higher than the standard for key people on the team.
• Helping anyone who asked for on more session to "pick (my) brain" about something.
• An exec team who was clearly upset I was leaving, but were supportive. (Though one person - who hired me originally - did not talk to me before I left. That was them being kind.)
• Assuring account leads that everything would be better after I was gone - because the teams are really the brains on things... And I was just the front person.

I've had multiple people check on me since leaving, telling me they miss me. And that is always the best feeling.

The third thing eating up my time in the past two months...

I got the living room painted. Color-drenched in Witching Hour by Benjamin Moore. And I could not be happier about the final result. The white walls had been too much for far too long. And the darker moody vibe I now have in here is reflective of who I am - and really whom I have been - pretty much my entire adult life.

And that last bit is what I've been thinking about a lot over the past few months. Not asking permission - of anyone, myself, or the Universe - to be me. 

I'm not performing - which I have my entire adult life - to be a version of me for others. 

And I've noticed I'm less tired. Less exhausted.

It's lovely to have mindshare and energy again.