Destination Wedding & Gift Giving Question
I had a reader write in with a question regarding destination weddings and gift giving...
"Hello, I have a question about destination weddings. An old acquaintance of mine has invited me to a destination wedding in St. Thomas.
We are really not close at all and there is no way that I would go. I feel like he must know this and I wonder if he is just inviting me to the wedding because he wants presents! I know this is an awful thing to think, but I wonder what I should do. I am definitely not going to the wedding. They didn't have an RSVP, he is not even totally sure if I am going or not. It was just this posting on a website I was supposed to go look at to invite me to the wedding.
What do you think? "
My thoughts:
Traditionally, when you receive a wedding invitation, protocol is that you send a gift even if you can not attend the wedding.
I imagine your friend sent the URL to his wedding site to you to gauge your interest in going to the wedding. If you had responded that you wanted to go, then he most likely would have followed up with a formal invitation. So, the website appears to be a "Save the Date" card.
HOWEVER, because you did not receive a formal invitation (just a website URL) you are not required to send a gift. Only your happy wishes to the bride and groom.
Hope that takes away your anxiety!
"Hello, I have a question about destination weddings. An old acquaintance of mine has invited me to a destination wedding in St. Thomas.
We are really not close at all and there is no way that I would go. I feel like he must know this and I wonder if he is just inviting me to the wedding because he wants presents! I know this is an awful thing to think, but I wonder what I should do. I am definitely not going to the wedding. They didn't have an RSVP, he is not even totally sure if I am going or not. It was just this posting on a website I was supposed to go look at to invite me to the wedding.
What do you think? "
My thoughts:
Traditionally, when you receive a wedding invitation, protocol is that you send a gift even if you can not attend the wedding.
I imagine your friend sent the URL to his wedding site to you to gauge your interest in going to the wedding. If you had responded that you wanted to go, then he most likely would have followed up with a formal invitation. So, the website appears to be a "Save the Date" card.
HOWEVER, because you did not receive a formal invitation (just a website URL) you are not required to send a gift. Only your happy wishes to the bride and groom.
Hope that takes away your anxiety!
Comments
Sending an e-vite to a wedding in St. Thomas tells me that this person isn't committed to getting married. If my future wife suspected that I was even thinking about saving a date via email, she'd have my left testicle. Don't send this person a gift...hey, you should be offended that you weren't worth a $13 dollar card.
-Anonymous cap'n