Shit That Only Happens To Me...

A movie came out this weekend that I have been looking forward to seeing for a few months.

The cynic in me was looking forward to this... And had planned to wrap my holiday shopping this afternoon just in time to catch the 5:40pm showing in Union Square.  There aren't too many movies out that I want to see this season.  

Especially those crappy bullshit Garry Marshall films... Which I gave up watching in my 20s. (Though, I will watch Pretty Woman whenever it is on TV... Because the 13-year-old in me appreciates the nostalgia.)  Those chick-flick movies (Valentine's Day, Runaway Bride, Raising Helen...) I absolutely eff-ing hate.

So I walk into the theater, which is surprisingly packed. But I find a spot to sit in (since I am flying solo on this) just as the previews start. It is in the middle of a row.  But people kindly let me pass by their legs... And I tuck in and get into my dark humor mood that only Diablo Cody can seem to pull off lately.

"I've been looking forward to this movie for a few months now," I say to the girl and her boyfriend sitting next to me. 

"I know, right?" said the chirpy girl.  "I watched the trailer like a million times.  I even made him watch it!" (Pointing to her gentleman friend.)

I laughed.  This girl had a great sense of humor.  The Husband would roll his eyes if I made him watch the Young Adult trailer.

The lights get even darker... And the movie's first scene starts to open.

And then my internal dialogue starts to flip the shit out.

I realize that I am NOT in the theater to see Young Adult. I somehow managed to park myself into the theater for New Year's Eve.

FUCKING NEW YEAR'S EVE!

The one movie I absolutely DID NOT WANT TO SEE!!!

And seeing as I was stuck in the middle of the row, it wasn't going to be easy to get up.  And since I had just spent a few seconds telling the chirpy chick next to me how much I had been looking forward to seeing this movie...  My pride wouldn't allow me to get up. I had to save face.

"No God! No!" I screamed to myself.  "WHY?!?!  WHY!?!? WHY DID I NOT PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE I WAS WALKING IN TO?!??!"

The movie... It was awful. I mean, if you love shit that Garry Marshall does... You will love it. I always pretend that I do... Because I have lots of friends who do. But the reality is, I pretty much do not. 

I would rather have the most God-awful menstrual cramps without being allowed access to Advil or alcohol than sit through these movies.

But even more... I didn't want to cause a scene getting up and leaving after I had just sat down.

I plan to try to see Young Adult next week when I am in Toronto. Next time, I will pay way more attention.