Falsely Satiated.
I'm in the middle of a lot of travel lately.
It was nice and quiet from mid-November last year until early May this year, when I had not a single trip to take.
It was a dream.
A long stretch of weeks in one place, establishing a routine... Focusing on quieting my mind.
August and September are truly the cruelest months. Well, not really. And I do enjoy travel. Just not all in one condensed time frame.
Every. Other. Week.
Seriously.
From the start of August through mid-September. Four trips.
And none of them in my part of the country.
And that's the tricky and exhausting part.
See, I can't simply hop on a plane and travel. I have to drive two hours north at least two days before my trip (otherwise I feel guilty) so I can leave my dog with my parents. Then I have get up early for an early flight (otherwise I won't get to the other side of the country at a decent time), which means my parents have to get up so they can turn off the alarm and open the gate on their property to let me drive out.
Then I take the earliest flight possible back to my side of the country after my meetings - after two to three days a way usually - so that I'm arriving at a time where I can still socialize with my family.
I work on planes that have WiFi. And I continue to respond to emails and work through projects while in motion. And also take meetings.
This also usually means I am working from my parents house at least the morning after I am back. Then the two hours drive back to Tucson.
All this to say I had to explain to someone this week who asked me (this week) if I could travel next week for a single one hour meeting.
No.
No.
No.
That would have put me three weeks in a row traveling.
I needed the week break.
And I already had commitments in Tucson next week that wouldn't make it possible to travel.
They understood.
But do I still feel guilty?
Absolutely.
Did I do something to make myself feel better about my exhaustion and guilt?
Absolutely.
I came across a vending machine for just licorice - proper licorice - at the airport...
And discovered a wide range of delights...
But knew immediately which one I wanted...
Finnish Black.
Perfection.
A digestive flavor. The signaling of the end of a feast.
I sat down in a corner seat near my gate, chomping on a few pieces while waiting for my flight. My laptop open... Working on a deck for a business pitch.
I think I'm finished with this meal. It has been falsely satiating.
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