"High Fives Are For Expressing Awesomeness."

Four years ago, when I stole my dog from my ex, one of the first things I taught her was to give "high fives."

It was the most important thing on the agenda - even more important than crate training her - that I taught her a few different styles of giving the highest of fives.

One of our original favorites is the "Top Gun High Five" where she jumps up with both paws and hits my held out hands.

But four years in... She's a pampered bee-yotch.

Tonight, as we were doing out bedtime routine of taking off her necklace (a collar with ladybugs on it) and giving her a teeth treat... I asked for a high five. A simple one. One where all she would have to do is hold up her dominant paw (the left one) amd gently tap my hand.

This was her face when I asked for one. 

I demanded a high five. And repeated the demand a few times. More aggressively each time.

Bitch didn't budge in lifting her paw up to greet my palm.

What she did do was move head up off the bed to greet my palm... Thus getting a a "pet" from me.

I was not okay with that shit. Not one bit.

"High fives are for expressing awesomeness between friends," I scolded her. "Not for sneaking in pets."

I demanded she do it properly.

And after about a minute of demanding... She finally lifted her paw up for a half assed tap.

I guess our shared view on awesomeness isn't the same on both sides.

Good thing I control the treats. 

And pretty much nothing else.