When People Drive Slow In The Zoom-Zoom Lane: The Only Time I Am Really Negative.

 I saw somewhere in the ethers of TikTok last night (finally able to catch up on content after a busy week) a psychic medium talk about what happens after death and how one progresses to the next plane of existence through having lived life in positive energy.

"You could be depressed and feeling like you are living in negative energy," they said. "But as long as you didn't take that energy out on others, you will have lived a positive life."

It obviously made me think if I was living in truly positive or truly negative energy.

I determined I am mostly in positive energy.

I'm not a bitch to others - even though I keep away from most people. It's not because I don't like them. I easily tire and need to sleep. 

And I am not a bitch to myself. I've never understood or comprehended how one can be cruel to oneself... Calling themselves stupid or saying they hate themselves.

I've certainly been overwhelmed by the energy of others - negative, that is. Fear. Anger. But my response has been to cut off and seclude myself from them when that happens.

I turn into a ghost, if anything is directed at me.

"But is that me being negative?" I wondered.

"No," the voice in me said. "But are you letting any of that energy hold you back? You should be analyzing if you're drained because you're too busy protecting yourself, and not moving forward as a result."

By this point, my eyes were drooping, and I was losing the conversation with the energy. I fell into rest hard... Not waking up until my alarm went off at 6am. 

"You forgot to arrange the flowers."

Oops. 

The voice was reminding me I was on the verge of killing this week's flowers - which had been procured saturday morning and were still sitting in a small vase of water wrapped up in their plastic. 

Just barely saved them. They'd already started to wrinkle. But if anything, that adds to the rustic nature of the blooms.

See... A negative into a positive. 

It was warming up quickly outside, and I needed to get my dog out for her long walk for the day. I also was scheduled to teach the 10am hot yoga class, and I wanted to give myself time to get ready and get over to the studio.

That's where I knew negative energy - from me - would come out.

Driving in Arizona is almost as bad as driving in the North County of San Diego. 

And in both places, I often find myself behind some clueless driver who is going BELOW the speed limit or lingering at a red light too long.

I liberally use my horn and flash my lights when driving. Getting somewhere - like a yoga studio on the other side of town - can take 12 minutes or 30. And it annoys me that it can be hard to predict. 

I am hella negative energy when I drive. 

"This is where you should work on negative energy," the voice said to me as I was stuck behind a crawling hatch-backed vehicle north on Campbell Avenue, wondering why the bad drivers were out so early already.

"I should move back to places where I don't need to drive," I said.

That's a solution.