Because I Can't Contain My Excitement...

I have news: I am moving back to New York City this Fall.

(Pause for excited squeals, followed by the big question I know you all will ask...)

"What about The Husband? Is he moving too?"

The answer: "No."

Fret not, my friends! I am still "The Missus!" So here's the scoop:

I have wanted to move back to NYC pretty much since I left eight years ago. It was the city where I found my independence... Where I met the one man I wanted marry... Where I felt magical and optimistic. Then, after three years there, I was whisked away to Boston.

I followed The Husband. His career took us to Boston. And the idea of living in a city of ridiculously smart people and loyal sports-loving fans sounded appealing. But, it took me a few years to adjust. Eventually, I grew to love it. I made friends. I loved my gayborhood (South End - REPRESENT!) I found a great career path.

But by the time I fell in love with Boston, it was time to leave to Toronto. Once again, to follow The Husband's career.

This time, we moved countries to Toronto.

I love Canada. Such a compassionate society. Such a clean city - Toronto is. We have a jackass for a mayor... But the loving energy of this city is amazing. And holy crap, do I love the health care here. I got over the fact that I couldn't get Cheez-Its in this country.

I also love my job at the agency where I am a VP. I was given a chance to "sink or swim" when I started here. And I came in, kicked some ass and grew the team. I was grateful for the opportunity.

But Toronto... Well. Something was always off here for me, due to the fact of what I was used to in the states. Here's what I mean:

1. The industry I work in is much smaller up here than in the states. Budgets are smaller. The talent pool is even smaller. You have to develop your own talent, rather than hiring it. And as a result, at the senior level, salaries are much smaller here than they are in the states. At the junior and mid-level, salaries between Canada and the states ARE THE EXACT SAME. But for senior level talent? Nope. And this was a very bitter pill for me to swallow. I work very hard, for a respectable salary. But not one I could take care of my husband on, if I ever needed to. Talk about feeling incompetent.
2. I was following The Husband again. I love my husband very much. But when you were raised by parents who instilled the mentality of "always make sure you can take care of your self," it was hard for me to adapt to the idea of allowing my husband's career to take care of me. I have tried being the housewife. A couple of times. It just does not work for me. I FAIL at this. I am hoping some day (maybe 10 years from now?) I will be able to do this. But right now? I feel like I am not taking care of myself properly. I get depressed. I want to be able to take care of my husband, just as he is able to take care of me.
3. Toronto is too quiet. I like tall buildings. I like to be able to walk for hours and hours and and run into new things to see. And while Toronto is a LARGE city, it is too spread out for me. I don't want to have to drive a car to get to something. I want to be able to hop a subway or bus... Or walk.

So, a few months back, The Husband and I agreed that if I found a job that was a great fit, I would be crazy not to take it.

We reasoned that because we don't have kids (and don't plan to) and don't have pets (and don't plan to), and because we are both workaholics... We could easily manage living in two different cities and flying every other weekend (at least) to see each other.

So I set to work exploring NYC opportunities. I looked within my own company's network. And while a great opportunity popped up... It wasn't the right one for me. It would have been a step-down responsibility wise.

Another opportunity popped up, this time in the suburbs of Boston. It was a great opportunity too. Not at a marketing agency. And it involved travel all throughout the Americas (North, Central, South). But it wasn't in the city of Boston. Which was the main deciding factor against pursuing this opportunity. I don't want to work in the suburbs.

The third opportunity (I feel like Goldilocks now!) was in NYC, working for a company that is being led by someone I have worked with in a past job. The position is a step-up, in that it is in NYC and thus means dealing with a larger budget. It is similar to the job I have now (very similar), just based in the US. It is the job I was most excited about and prayed that I would be able to convince them to give me.

And they did.

I was made my offer before I got on the plane to Hong Kong last week. And I accepted it while in Hong Kong.

So this is why I have been anxious these past few weeks. I have been slowly making a move back to NYC happen for me. I have had The Husband's complete and enthusiastic support in this, for which I consider myself lucky and blessed.

We have also had the support and enthusiasm of both sets of parents and my siblings. (I secretly think this is because it now gives them two sets of residences to visit in two big cities.) The only people who have been confused by it are friends...

"What? But you live in Toronto. It is your home. Husbands and wives don't live apart."

True, it is unconventional. But it's not like we are trying to escape from each other. If The Husband could get a job in NYC, he would be going with me in a heartbeat. It's just that his job opportunity is greatest up here in Toronto. And mine is an hour's flight south in NYC.

I just don't feel like I am done with being aggressive in my career. And, unfortunately, the industry I work in isn't as aggressive up here.

So what's a career-driven wife who wants to be able to provide for her husband to do? Head to NYC!

Plus, now I can get Cheez-Its whenever I want.