There Are No Cheez-Its In The Great White North.
Oh holy hell!
I thought I had done thorough research before moving to Canada. They had universal health care, easier access to Taco Bell and Arby's for me, a new Bikram studio for me to practice at... Pretty much all the things I care about most. But I overlooked one thing.
Every six months (usually) I get a craving for the golden crispy cheese-flavored snack crackers. Since moving to Toronto, I hadn't craved them... Until yesterday, when I was dealing with my fraud issue.
I wanted a comfort food... And since university, these have always been a comfort food for me. Eaten only when I was really stressed out.
I went to a few different stores today to try to find them. And was really confused that I couldn't find them anywhere. I mean, as my brother J likes to joke, "Canada is USA-junior. You have everything we have... We just had it first." (Except for universal health care.)
So why the eff was I not finding my Cheez-Its????
Well, turns out they aren't distributed up here.
FUCK ME!
And before you dare even suggest it... No I can not substitute Goldfish Crackers (which they do carry up here) for the Cheez-Its. First of all, that is blasphemy... And you should go straight to the deepest pits of fiery hell for even thinking such a thing. Second, everyone knows Goldfish Crackers are for people with gentle taste buds... Like children. They are not meant for adults.
Oh woes me!
Comments
Say the word, and I'll send a Cheez-It care package once a quarter (it is just comfort food after all).
PS- Miss you lots. Although it seems the great white north is treating you fairly well.
NOTHING is a substitute for Cheezits.
Though I went off them for a few days when I got overexcited and ate half the box like an hour before Bikram. Bad idea, for future reference. I told my teacher "I ATE TOO MANY CHEEZITS I HATE MYSELF" She laughed her ass off and called me Cheezit all night.
just curious why you use that term instead of "and since college". you did grow up and go to school in the US, right? using the word "university" in that context seems more canadian or british.
regardless, i love reading your blog.
In the states, "university" refers to a school that has a certain number of colleges within it... "College of Fine Arts" at the University of Arizona is what I graduated from... In the US, "college" and "university" actually mean the same thing. Up here though, you would never refer to it as "having gone to college" if you had your bachelors degree.
So I always refer to it as "university" now. Also, since I did go to an actual university.
One flavor to choose from. Cheese.