Making Room For Silence.
"You do realize you didn't have to do that, right?" asked Bail. Frogger nodded in agreement.
It was dinner on Friday night, and I had just recapped the big decision I had made...
To quit my job.
They both understood what had led to this decision. I was burnt out. I had hoped the move to Boston would open up more personal time for me, and allow me to spend more time with The Husband - who very much needs and deserves my attention. But it actually had the opposite effect.
While I had a little more personal time, I actually was experiencing more wear and tear on myself. I was assigned to launch a new product for work (which I very much believe in), but was left to do it alone. And because no one else within the company sits in Boston, and because I didn't have a team, this meant I needed to travel more. A lot more.
So train rides back and forth the NYC... Which on the Acela are 3.5 hours one way. This meant just traveling ate up seven hours. Not counting the meetings I would have once I got there. There was little time for yoga or the gym. And the connecting on the train often meant it was difficult for me to Skype with my husband on the way back in the evening.
I traveled so much, I didn't even keep food in my house. It would go bad before I got around to eating it. In my refrigerator I kept wheat grass shots, coffee creamer made from coconut milk, coconut water and sometimes eggs. The guys downstairs at the 570 Market got to know my face pretty quickly and well, as I would come in right before closing - having just gotten off the train - and pick up something to eat.
While I enjoyed the company I worked with, it was very clear that we were very big and all working in silos. And what I was building was a connecting piece to those silos for clients. Everyone loved it in theory. When it came to wanting to talk action plan about making it happen though, most were too focused on the other things that were on their plates. And I couldn't blame them. They had their own crap to deal with already.
It would have been much easier to build it in one of the two major cities the company operates within. And the move to Boston is a permanent one. So I wasn't moving to either of those cities.
I explained all of this to Bail and Frogger as we drank red wines. They understood.
"I'm taking three months off to just be silent," I told them. "I'm not taking another job. I'm not traveling anywhere other than up to Toronto. I'm going to do my yoga every day and get stronger. I'm just going to ease into life and see what inspiration - if any - sparks up. If at the end of the three months I want to go back to work in my industry, I'll pray someone hires me. But for right now, I'm caring for The Husband and myself."
They know me well. They know this is a bold move. And I secretly think they are each betting how long it will be before I actually decide to start looking for a new job. (I think they both bet before the end of February.)
So that was my big decision last week. I need to reboot. My health. My husband's health. My balance. Possibly my purpose. I may or may not ever go back to working in the industry. But for now, I am looking forward to my mind opening up to new possibilities.
And that will only happen once I quiet the noise.
It was dinner on Friday night, and I had just recapped the big decision I had made...
To quit my job.
They both understood what had led to this decision. I was burnt out. I had hoped the move to Boston would open up more personal time for me, and allow me to spend more time with The Husband - who very much needs and deserves my attention. But it actually had the opposite effect.
While I had a little more personal time, I actually was experiencing more wear and tear on myself. I was assigned to launch a new product for work (which I very much believe in), but was left to do it alone. And because no one else within the company sits in Boston, and because I didn't have a team, this meant I needed to travel more. A lot more.
So train rides back and forth the NYC... Which on the Acela are 3.5 hours one way. This meant just traveling ate up seven hours. Not counting the meetings I would have once I got there. There was little time for yoga or the gym. And the connecting on the train often meant it was difficult for me to Skype with my husband on the way back in the evening.
I traveled so much, I didn't even keep food in my house. It would go bad before I got around to eating it. In my refrigerator I kept wheat grass shots, coffee creamer made from coconut milk, coconut water and sometimes eggs. The guys downstairs at the 570 Market got to know my face pretty quickly and well, as I would come in right before closing - having just gotten off the train - and pick up something to eat.
While I enjoyed the company I worked with, it was very clear that we were very big and all working in silos. And what I was building was a connecting piece to those silos for clients. Everyone loved it in theory. When it came to wanting to talk action plan about making it happen though, most were too focused on the other things that were on their plates. And I couldn't blame them. They had their own crap to deal with already.
It would have been much easier to build it in one of the two major cities the company operates within. And the move to Boston is a permanent one. So I wasn't moving to either of those cities.
I explained all of this to Bail and Frogger as we drank red wines. They understood.
"I'm taking three months off to just be silent," I told them. "I'm not taking another job. I'm not traveling anywhere other than up to Toronto. I'm going to do my yoga every day and get stronger. I'm just going to ease into life and see what inspiration - if any - sparks up. If at the end of the three months I want to go back to work in my industry, I'll pray someone hires me. But for right now, I'm caring for The Husband and myself."
They know me well. They know this is a bold move. And I secretly think they are each betting how long it will be before I actually decide to start looking for a new job. (I think they both bet before the end of February.)
So that was my big decision last week. I need to reboot. My health. My husband's health. My balance. Possibly my purpose. I may or may not ever go back to working in the industry. But for now, I am looking forward to my mind opening up to new possibilities.
And that will only happen once I quiet the noise.
Comments