The Ayahuasca Diaries: "OS Infinity!"

People had been craving the idea of yoga. As to whether or not they actually wanted yoga, who knows? But everyone always likes the idea of yoga.

Since people were interested, I had mentioned that I teach yoga and would be happy to walk them through a few standing postures before the ceremony lecture. Lots of people were interested. And in my mind...

"That means, like two, may show up."

Forever the cynic.  :)

I walked to the "Cook House" on the property, an outdoor ayahuasca brewing space on the path to the Ceremony House, and hung out at the designated time. After waiting for about five minutes, the two Swedish gentlemen (who reminded me of Puck from Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream) showed up for the yoga.

"Alright!" I said. "It's just you two. Let's go!"

I walked them through a breathing exercise that would allow them to expand their lungs, and prep them for inhaling deeply after swallowing the ayahuasca. Halfway through the breathing, a woman from Israel joined us.  I walked them through a few more postures, allowing for spine alignment and opening of the hip flexors... All good things for when you intend for energy to pull up through your chakras.

After walking them through it, I was a bit exhausted. I went into the Ceremony House and sat down in my rocking chair, waiting for the pre-cereminy lecture to start.

The Sun had set. It was dark. The lecture began... And though I was listening, my eyelids got heavy.

"There's no way I have the energy to sit in a chair tonight," I thought. "I am going to have to do the one thing I said I'd never do... Lay on a mat for ceremony."

As I tried to fight the idea of caving to the floor, I felt a chill go through me. Mind you, it was over 90 degrees in the jungle. And very humid. But I pulled on an oatmealy sweater and wished I'd had thought to put on my long yoga pants, rather than capris.

I decided to occupy the mat/pillow/blanket three feet in front of my chair. It had been empty the previous night. So no one would want it. (Once you find a space, you usually stick with it the whole week.)

I prepped the space by pulling an extra blanket onto the mat. And I moved the vomit bucket up towards the head of my mat.

I went up to Don Alberto, when it was my turn, and received the same dose as the two previous nights: 1/8 of the cup. I took my dose back to my mat, crawled under the blankets, and shivered and yawned.

I was apprehensive about swallowing the aya. The taste... It was what I feared most. 

Eventually it was time to "Salute!" everyone, and chuck it down. 

((shuddering))

I laid down on my back, and pulled both blankets over my body. I was so cold. But I knew right away that nothing was going to come back up. Tonight it would be staying down.

I laid myself out into Savasana (Corpse Pose) on the mat. My palms faced up. The icaros began... And I ventured into a conversation with my Self.

I began exploring, again, how I am spending my days now. I knew I was getting pulled too deeply down a path where I am swept up and overextending myself... Sacrificing my personal time. I meditated on how to change that. How to not carry the weight of everything on me, because it wasn't on me. No one had put it on me. I had just decided to take it on.

"Silly how we tend to do that," I thought. "Martyrs."

As I began to let go of the mental weight, my body's senses started to melt into the energy of the space.  And I heard the icaros die down.

The American Shaman began to speak.

He spoke about how we operate. How forget that love is the infinite energy that we thrive on. How when we focus only on love, and doing things from a place of love, life is better and easier. That good things come from an infinite love operating system.

"Forget OS Yosemite," he said. "It's all about OS Infinity."

I laughed. 

I realized it had been almost two hours. I hadn't moved a muscle since the start of the ceremony.  I decided to roll over on my right side. 

My body found a comfortable space. It sank back into the energy. I laid there, not moving a muscle, for nearly the rest of the ceremony.

I knew the medicine was working with me. Unfolding in me, and reaching to every point in my body. I became even more relaxed and melted into the space.

At one point, towards the end, I felt my right cheek... Near my nose, twitch. The nerves were being affected by the ayahuasca. I decided to enjoy it.

Then I felt the nerve twitch move up to just under my right eye.  And I knew...  It wasn't my nerves.

I reached up, gently picked the dragon fly off of my face, and tossed it away in the air. 

I didn't even open my eyes. I was too relaxed to open them. I worried for a moment that I would crush it's wings... But it made it away okay.

"Being on the mat is great," I noted. "I can allow all of my energy to be channeled into the medicine working through my body."

I knew I would be returning to the mat.