Factoring In The Integration Piece.

"I'm just going to staycation."

My response when people ask me what I am doing with my time off next week.

I had originally planned to take time off later in the month and finally head back down to the Amazon after being away for six years.

But for a few reasons I decided it wasn't the right time.

Mostly because of the "integration" aspect.

With any kind of energy work (plant medicines, physical massage, physical movement, meditation, etc.) you need time (sometimes minutes... days... weeks... years...) to process the things that you purge.

For example, onee of the reasons I do hot yoga is because I am continuously purging mentally in that class. Thoughts flow in... Thoughts flow out...

And I let them. 

But afterwards I am able to be at peace, usually, because I let whatever emotion or thought I had express itself. Have it's moment to shine. And then I can figure out what is left to feel about it.

But a 60 to 90 minutes in a hot yoga room is only allowing me to go so deep in purging. 

An ayahuasca journey in the Amazon goes deep. Sometimes it's fun... Other times silly and confusing...  And also it can be reaffirming.

It's never yet been dark.

But maybe I just don't realize what "dark" is?

Regardless... A key aspect of these types of journeys is having time to step back from the experience and evaluate the emotions, thoughts, and energy of the experience.

Not a plant medicine... But I've drank cacti before... Peyote. San Pedro.

And the reality is that if I had taken time to go to the retreat this Spring, I likely wouldn't have had a chance for a few days of integration afterwards. To transition from the medicine journey back to my life with a stable internal navigation.

And I've made that misstep in the past on a few of these journeys... Rushing back to the world I am largely in, and feeling discombobulated.

I am hopeful in the Fall I can do it properly. Because I do need to go back.