Worst Coffee In The World: Dunks.

Now, I know (for some un-Godly reason) that there are many people in this city that will piss themselves crazy for a cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee. Why? I still haven't figured it out... But I did attempt to answer this question this morning...

I got up early, waited for my chair delivery, and then decided to head over to Whole Foods (the crappy one near the South End) for my bi-weekly massive shopping expedition. On my way home, I popped into the Pru to get some magazines.

"I also want coffee," I decided. But instead of going with my usual Starbucks, I decided I would try Dunks. It's been a while since I had tortured myself with the "milk-sugar-water" and I thought it would be a good time to give it a try.

So I go to Dunks.

"One small coffee please with a little cream and no sugar," I order.

"Cream and sugar?" asks the the guy taking my order.

"NO sugar, and just a little bit of cream," I reconfirmed, holding my hand up, pinching my fore finger and thumb together to emphasize how little cream I wanted.

My cup appears seconds later. I had forgotten though how Dunkin' Donuts likes to punish people who order small coffees by not having Styrofoam cups in the small size. Instead, you get a paper cup and no sleeve... Followed by a burning of your fingertips from trying to hold the cup.

I take my coffee to a table and bust out the issue of Elle I had just picked up at Barnes and Noble. I attempt to pop the lid open on my coffee and, because it is filled too high, it proceeds to splash out of the cup and onto the table.

That's when I notice something odd.

The color of my coffee was too "camel" in color. Which meant they completely ignored my request for "a little bit of cream." As I took a sip of the coffee, I realized they had also ignored my request for "no sugar." The thing was too fucking sweet! It hurt my teeth!

"Eff this!" I proclaimed. "I will never drink coffee from this shit establishment again."

Comments

Anonymous said…
i know this means i will never be a true "bostonian" but i can't stand dunkin' donuts coffee. even their lattes are disgusting.

kudos to you for giving it one last shot!
Anonymous said…
I ordered a caramel latte swirl from D&Ds. Peter said the guy getting the drink didn't seem to know how to work the machine. After tasting it, I realized it was just caramel and milk. No coffee. Lame.
Me said…
Yeah... It's really "hit or miss" with Dunks coffee I guess. I think I have had only one decent cup of coffee from there in the nearly 5 years I have lived in Boston. Peter's a Dunks whore. Unless there's a Peet's coffee around. then he's a Peet's whore.
Anonymous said…
He's pretty easy when it comes to coffee haha. He's even frequenting Caribou Coffee in ATL. I'll admit, they have some pretty good drinks there. But they're kinda pricey and almost too sweet.
Sarah said…
I think Dunks is really only suitable for people who like their coffee "regular" (which luckily is how I like it). Anything other than regular and you really are better off somewhere else :-)
DUNKIES FOREVER said…
Dunks is the best coffee in the world and you can take your snobby tastebuds elsewhere, sistah. We don't want you drinking our coffee anyways. Plenny of starbucks for you to take your hoity-toity self to.
Me said…
Yeah... Four years since I did this post... Wait! No! It's almost FIVE years... And I still think Dunks has the worst coffee.

In fact... I was in a Dunks just three weeks ago and saw a woman standing in line with no shoes on her feet. And no one in the place told her to get out or that it was unsanitary!

Not a whole lot of pride at that place.

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