"Eff Those Guys!"

Like a broken record lately... "I am going to get back into my Bikram practice. I promise." 

I keep saying that over and over again.  But yet, I still seem to only make it to class once a week lately.  And that is pathetic.

Tonight's class, to my un-surprise, was a tough one.  Again. Puking almost happened.  I was actually sweating for once... Something that has happened in a long time -- a proper sweat.  And I couldn't do any of the forward-bending poses.

I wanted to puke that badly in class.

The postures that I was able to kick ass in... The thing that kept me going in them was this phrase in my head: "Fuck those guys."

It just sort of popped in my head out of nowhere. But I didn't know whom I was saying it about exactly.

"Why am I so angry? And whom am I angry at?" I asked myself. Anger is an expression that is contained in your Solar Plexus.  Which is your "torso" area.  Which is the main area you are compressing in forward bends.

I have no idea what I am holding on to, anger-wise. I don't have anything to be angry about... I think.  But maybe tonight when I sleep, it will come out in my dreams.  And then maybe, hopefully, tomorrow night's class will be better.  And I will be able to actually do some forward bends.

Comments

Elisa said…
That is deep, Heather. It's trippy because I am the exact opposite, personality and mood-wise. I'm rarely angry and tend to be anxious and fearful. As a result, backbending postures are really hard for me. Although I'm scared (lotsa fear, get it?) of over-stretching a hamstring or my lower back, the forward bends feel really calming and safe to me. But most days Camel still freaks me out.

Yeah... yoga is a great barometer for your mental health ;-)
Simmm said…
Oh-oh... sorry practicing has been so rough lately. It sounds like you are at least partly angry at yourself for not making it to class more often.

Try to be a little more kind to yourself maybe?

Whenever I'm fighting with the yoga, the only thing that usually helps is surrender and try to keep up a regular practice. Most importantly, practicing on consecutive days.

All the best!
bikramyogachick said…
This totally reminds me of a post DancingJ did where she out of nowhere, during a tough practice said in her mind "f*ck turtles!!"
:)
Anonymous said…
It's NYC. New York makes me angry - especially the crowds during the holiday season. Your anger should cease by Jan 2.

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