The Secret To Getting What You Want.

Ambition is never a bad thing. And anyone whoever tells you it is is simply envious that you have the balls to go after what you want.

I say this from experience. Because I too have uttered the words, "They are just too ambitious! They need to chill!"

But what I've learned is that ambition is never a bad thing. Going for what you want, provided it doesn't financially or physically harm someone else, is okay. It's all in how you negotiate for you want. And here is, based on my experience, the "secret" (in quotes because it ain't secret) to getting what you want...

Be willing to walk away, and be perfectly happy, if you don't get what you want.

This is what has always worked for me. Sure, I compromise on stuff. Nothing ever 100% goes my way. (If it did, I'd be living in NYC or Boston still, not Toronto.) But when I really want something, I go for it. I take it. I play fairly. I declare it nicely. And it's mine.

This is how I got the time off to attend Bikram Yoga Teacher Training last Fall.

After putting training off for a few years, in the Spring of 2010 I went to my boss and said...

"I am taking nine weeks off in the Fall to go get trained as a yoga teacher. I'm not looking to switch careers. But this is something I have wanted to do for a while now. And I am letting you know now so that we can create an action plan and you can decide what you want to do. I would like to come back to my job afterwards... But if that's not possible, that's okay. I will find another job."

Pretty straight forward. Honest. And I made it clear that I wanted to come back. But also, that I wasn't going to be guilted with the possibility of not having a job to return to. (Not that my company ever would have tried to make me feel guilty.)

If my boss had said, "Thanks. But we'll part ways," I would have respected the decision. As long as I did what was karmically right, I was happy with whatever the outcome was going to be.

And that is how you should live your life. Be honest. Throw out there to the Universe what you want... And let it unfold. Let be what will be.

Because I took this approach, I was able to help my boss craft a game plan for my absence:

• Who was gonna take care of new business pitches?
• Who was gonna mentor my team?
• Who was gonna approve time sheets and all the other admin pieces that come with running my team?
• Who was gonna side track the team with inane stories about growing up in America rolling with ganstas and learning how to be a coyote in the Southern Arizona desert? (I've created quite the entertaining background for myself amongst my trusting Canadian colleagues. I am sure I have them scared shitless of me.**)

Giving a sufficient amount of "heads-up" allowed me to work out the game plan and continue the trust of my company. It also helped that I didn't mentally "check-out" before or after I came back from training. I worked hard up until the afternoon I left, just to show I was dedicated. And I've worked my ass off since returning.

So, if you really want something. Don't ask. Just take it. But do it nicely and honestly. Nobody can hate on that.

**Not really. Not even close.