Women... Why Do You Keep Giving Up So Much?
How funny... The Boston Globe had an article this afternoon about women dropping out of the legal partnership career path at an alarmingly higher rate then men. It's "funny" because I just got done reading "The Feminine Mistake" by Leslie Bennetts this week.
The article says that the biggest reason appears to be women having to choose between the partner career path and having a family.
I agree, that probably is the biggest reason. And I think it is bull-shite.
Why should women have to choose? Men don't have to; at least not as often. Why do women have to be the ones to traditionally opt out of a strong career path in order to have a family? Last time I checked, it took elements from two people to create a kid. So why is it that women tend to be the ones to give up more in order to produce a family?
I know the argument well, as I have been reading a lot of material in the past year on it... When you have a kid, should one parent stay home and raise the kid?
Sometimes there isn't a choice. Both parents have to work. But then there's that argument where people conclude that it wouldn't be financially worth it to have both parents work, with the child care costs... So one parent stays home. And then there are those people that conclude that because one person makes so much more than the other, it seems "Why bother having the other spouse work? " (This last one is the one you see with the more financially "well-off" couples.)
But I guess my question to women out there is (and "thank you" Leslie Bennetts for helping me realize this), "Why should you give up your career just to stay home with your kids?"
Even if your family can have a nice life with only one spouse working, why do it? Especially if you like your job, enjoy the day-to-day interaction you get, and if you like the financial independence. So WHAT if the cost of childcare ends up being such a large chunk of your monthly costs?
I, personally, can't put a price on proper job satisfaction. The financial independence and feeling of contributing to a household... Along with knowing I am contributing to the success of the company I work for... These are good things. And even with a child, I wouldn't give them up.
Another frightening statistic I learned about in Leslie Bennetts' book was the lack of women not realizing that by stepping out of the work force, even if it was just for a few years, they were more often than not preventing themselves from furthering their career at an ideal pace when they did step back in.
Many of the women she spoke to in the book (and the studies she researched) showed that women didn't realize that by stepping out of the work force meant that when they eventually came back, they would be lucky to step back in at the financial level they left at.
I guess I just don't understand why women tend to be the ones to give up so much professionally and financially when it comes to having children.
Funny enough, a co-worker in my office and I were having a conversation about being able to work from home if you had children. The business I work in certainly allows for people to telecommute, but the business doesn't really want people to have that option. (Yet, anyways.)
Well, this co-worker, who has children, was going on and on about how the woman tends to be the one taking care of most of the child-rearing and household management... Even when both spouses work.
"You know that woman does most of the work!" she said.
Well, "eff that." That's what I say, and that's what women need to start saying. Parenting is a two-person job. And I'm not giving up my financial independence. I would rather teach my children that it's both parents' jobs to provide and take care of the family.
I highly recommend reading Leslie Bennetts' book. Then form your own opinion. It was an excellent read.
The article says that the biggest reason appears to be women having to choose between the partner career path and having a family.
I agree, that probably is the biggest reason. And I think it is bull-shite.
Why should women have to choose? Men don't have to; at least not as often. Why do women have to be the ones to traditionally opt out of a strong career path in order to have a family? Last time I checked, it took elements from two people to create a kid. So why is it that women tend to be the ones to give up more in order to produce a family?
I know the argument well, as I have been reading a lot of material in the past year on it... When you have a kid, should one parent stay home and raise the kid?
Sometimes there isn't a choice. Both parents have to work. But then there's that argument where people conclude that it wouldn't be financially worth it to have both parents work, with the child care costs... So one parent stays home. And then there are those people that conclude that because one person makes so much more than the other, it seems "Why bother having the other spouse work? " (This last one is the one you see with the more financially "well-off" couples.)
But I guess my question to women out there is (and "thank you" Leslie Bennetts for helping me realize this), "Why should you give up your career just to stay home with your kids?"
Even if your family can have a nice life with only one spouse working, why do it? Especially if you like your job, enjoy the day-to-day interaction you get, and if you like the financial independence. So WHAT if the cost of childcare ends up being such a large chunk of your monthly costs?
I, personally, can't put a price on proper job satisfaction. The financial independence and feeling of contributing to a household... Along with knowing I am contributing to the success of the company I work for... These are good things. And even with a child, I wouldn't give them up.
Another frightening statistic I learned about in Leslie Bennetts' book was the lack of women not realizing that by stepping out of the work force, even if it was just for a few years, they were more often than not preventing themselves from furthering their career at an ideal pace when they did step back in.
Many of the women she spoke to in the book (and the studies she researched) showed that women didn't realize that by stepping out of the work force meant that when they eventually came back, they would be lucky to step back in at the financial level they left at.
I guess I just don't understand why women tend to be the ones to give up so much professionally and financially when it comes to having children.
Funny enough, a co-worker in my office and I were having a conversation about being able to work from home if you had children. The business I work in certainly allows for people to telecommute, but the business doesn't really want people to have that option. (Yet, anyways.)
Well, this co-worker, who has children, was going on and on about how the woman tends to be the one taking care of most of the child-rearing and household management... Even when both spouses work.
"You know that woman does most of the work!" she said.
Well, "eff that." That's what I say, and that's what women need to start saying. Parenting is a two-person job. And I'm not giving up my financial independence. I would rather teach my children that it's both parents' jobs to provide and take care of the family.
I highly recommend reading Leslie Bennetts' book. Then form your own opinion. It was an excellent read.
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