It Is So Cold Outside...

It's on days like today where I just want to stay in bed, wrapped up in a cashmere blanket, under a goose duvet, watching movies on my laptop and drinking hot tea...  

All while fantasizing about moving back to Arizona, just to escape the heartless chill that has enveloped us here in New England.

How cold is it, you ask?

• It is so cold outside that when I take two steps out the door and simply lightly breathe in through my nose, my nose hairs freeze.  
  
• It is so cold outside that my iPod earbuds wire freezes after a few minutes outside.  I now have to tuck it into my jacket to keep them from getting frostbitten.
  
• It is so cold outside that I don't mind being inappropriately rubbed against by some random dude standing next to me on the number 43 bus while commuting to work.
  
• It is so cold outside that if I was a guy and had balls, they would roll up inside of me the moment I stepped outside, almost making me a girl.
  
• It is so cold outside that people who use change to pay for the bus, forcing the rest of us to chill in the cold before getting on the bus, really fucking annoys me.  It's just cruel.
• It is so cold outside that I am actually grateful for the Ugg fashion trend.  My feet are nice and cozy right now. But this is the only time of the year when I bust out these bad boys. 
• It is so cold outside that I don't even want to exfoliate my face.  I want to keep as many layers on it for warmth.

In this weather, fashion gets pushed aside.  Personal space gets pushed aside. Even personal hygiene can get pushed aside.

I hate this part of Winter.