Best Cure For Menstrual Cramps.

My hormones have been really wack-tastic in the past month.

All of the sudden, I find myself doing the following - which I KNOW are all hormone-related:
  • Crying for no reason.
  • Getting angry for no reason. (Though, this could all be pent-up anger. People in Canada are so nice that I have all this anger built up... And it has nowhere to go except to silly stuff. Like how my husband doesn't make a bed properly.)
  • Breaking out worse than ever. (Swear to God, it is like I am on fertility drugs, or something! And honey ain't working! I am considering laser therapy to kill bacteria and certain glands that are making me break out.)
Then, this morning, I woke up with the worst cramps I have had in a very long time. THE WORST.

I used to get this type of cramping when I was a teenager. I would resign myself to bed for a day, and occasionally leave my room for hot baths.

My Mum once tormented me by saying, "When you are 21, you can have a wine cooler to make them go away. For now, you just have to suffer through it."

When I was ready for college, I put myself on the birth control pill and stayed on it for nearly 10 years. Not because I was sexually active... No. I went on it to keep myself from continuing to be the complete bitch I was to friends and family. And to keep myself from having the pain each month. And to keep myself from missing classes or work because of the debilitating pain.

I went off it years ago, though, to give myself a break from the hormones. And I never really had a problem with the cramps until I finished up this 60-day challenge. Seriously, I think the challenge kicked my hormones back to the days of my teen-aged years. (I mean, I can do Eagle now - on both legs. And that is a pose that helps heal the sexual organs.)

So, this morning when I woke up in pain, I stayed in bed for a few extra hours. Then I got up and had a hot bath. By the end of it, it was noon. And I reached for the only bit of alcohol we had in the house...

The Veuve Cliquot that the previous owners left us.



I popped that bad boy open and proceeded to sip 1.5 classes over the next two hours while watching How She Move on HBO Canada.

That is the best cure for menstrual cramps ever. Angsty-teen dance movie and really expensive champagne that I didn't buy.

Comments

Kara said…
Missus,
I feel your pain (pardon the pun)! I've suffered from severe menstrual pain since the age of about 13. I've found that Aleve is the most effective OTC pain reliever, at least for me. A heating pad works wonders, too.

I hope you feel better soon!
Anonymous said…
I also used to have debilitating menstrual pain - caused by endometriosis. Once my doctor put me on the BC pill continuously (I don't take the placebos), it pretty much went away. And bonus, not having to deal with any periods.

If your breakouts are really bad - have you tried getting a product with salicylic acid in it? Sonya Dakar's Drying Potion works really well too.

Good luck!
No chace you are pregars is there? That's how I was when I was pregnant with the little man, minus the cramps. An MC can cramp really bad too? Hope next month is better for you! You better make sure you drink the rest of that bottle, you can't waste the vueve!!!

Feel better.

YM
Me said…
LOL! Absolutely NO CHANCE we are preggers. We're not trying right now. Maybe next Spring.

I agree... Can't waste Veuve.. Especially when it is free. Having a second glass this evening!
Mei said…
Loving your cure for menstrual cramps. Though I'd find it hard to convince my mum that we really do need champagne in the house for "cramping".

According to Chinese medicine mythology alcohol [especially beer] makes your periods come faster and earlier [as well as gets rid of the cramps]. I think this time the myth may be right!
Menstrual Cramps is quite a common problem among women. It pains a lot, every time i suffer from this problem, so i know how it feels. It feels like vomiting, headache, sense of fainting etc. One should do regular exercise, should eat fresh fruits and vegetables, yoga. One should avoid fatty items, caffine, sweets.
Unknown said…
Over-the-counter pain relievers, such as ibuprofen or naproxen sodium, used around the clock as soon as you notice the first sign of your period can help to reduce the severity of cramps in many women by inhibiting the release of prostaglandins.
Regards,
Dr Jane- Comforte

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