"Human's Number One!"

About this time last year, I saw The Husband ("Human") in a condition I had never seen him in before. I saw him drunk.

Yes, believe it or not, in the nearly seven years that I had been with Human, I had never once seen him drunk. He's seen me drunk plenty of times... Because, let's face it, it doesn't take more than a few glasses of wine or two cocktails to get me there. But Human? I always thought he was indestructible... I have seen him have a cocktail (usually a gin and tonic) on many occasions. And not even a buzz was coming from him.

But then last year, at a holiday wine-tasting he goes to every year, he decided to "go crazy." Every glass of win he was poured, he drank. He didn't just taste it. He drank every drop of it. And there were at least 12 wines poured.

He didn't get home that evening till close to midnight. I was fast asleep, in bed. I woke up suddenly in the night, as I felt a "presence" in my room. I looked at the door of the bedroom. It was slightly open, with The Husband's head sticking through it.

I was startled.

"Jesus, Human!" I screeched. "You scared me!"

He looked at me softly through the darkness and said LOUDLY, "Human's number one! Human's number 1!"

"Why are you 'number 1'?" I asked. And then followed it up with, "Are you drunk?"

He then told me about how he had drank every glass of wine he had been given. And then he began chanting how he was "number one!" over and over again.

It scared me. And, I think, it scarred me.

I told him he was never allowed to come home drunk again. If he was gonna get drunk, he had to sober up before he came home.

Why bring this up today?

Well, tonight is this year's wine tasting. And he sent me an email a while ago saying that he will "try to control (him)self. :)"

He better. I just don't know what I'll do this time if I am suddenly awakened by the feeling that someone is staring at me.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Aw. I like that story.
Thanks for sharing.
~Tiann
Me said…
LOL!

THanks Tiann. And he came home completely sober last night.
Haha. I have only seen my husband plastered once too. I on the other hand thought it was hilarious. I tend to get VERY drunk VERY fast so I like to throw it in his face when he gives me crap about it the next morning!

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