I Don't Do Santa Claus...
You know those kids who would always scream and kick and pitch a fit when their parents tried to get them to see Santa Claus at Christmas time... Just so they could get a lousy picture for their holiday memories?
Yes, I was that kid.
For as long as I can remember (and I can remember being two years old, people), I hated Santa Claus. And I didn't just limit my hatred for Jolly Old Saint Nick. I fucking hated the Easter Bunny too. And even Easter eggs for a while there. Disney characters? I was all like, "Fuck no!" They all scared the shit out of me. Made me kick and scream and cry.
I even hated my older brother that one year for Halloween when he dressed up as Darth Vader. In fact, I hated myself, as I was dressed like Holly Hobbie (And who the hell even knows what Holly Hobbie was or is? I sure don't. I just know I had bed sheets with Holly Hobbie on them. But what the fuck was she?). My Mum has the Halloween pictures from that year with my bawling standing next to my older brother dressed as Darth, with my bonnet and braids a mess... And the freckles she had drawn on being smeared from all the tear wiping.
I guess what I am trying to say, kids, is that I don't trust any eff-ing adults (or people older than me) who dress up in costumes in order to entertain children. (And don't even get me started on clowns, people!)
It's wrong. Just wrong.
I don't know if my Mum ever got a decent picture of me next to Santa for her photo albums. But I don't care. I only mildly like people in general... But people who dress up in costume and try to be my BFF by asking me what I want for the holidays - like they care and shit?
Oh hell no!
JUST SAY NO TO SANTA!
P.S. Seriously... Does anyone know what the fuck Holly Hobbie is? I know I should just Google it... But I'd rather some knowledgeable Holly Hobbie fan inform me.
Comments
Holly Hobbie was just an illustrated character.
Didn't have a comic; started out in greeting cards.
VERY popular in the 70's. If you were a little girl then you were sure to get a gift with her image & some saying on it (I had a plaque w/ "A friend in need, is a friend indeed).
Corny stuff but that was the 70's!
I'm still chuckling imaging you dressed as her, crying.
~Tiann
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/12/12/scared.of.santa/index.html?imw=Y&iref=mpstoryemail
The photos are hysterical and I'm sure you'll be able to relate!
Love your blog, Missus!
I also screamed my head off during my first Santa experience and i refuse to subject my little man to that. He can see santa when he says "mommy can i see santa?" Even then no sitting on his lap. I worked at the DA's office far to long to know better than to put my kid on some old guy's lap.
Some of my fondest childhood memories are of my grandfather, who would slip upstairs each Christmas morning after breakfast, and come downstairs in a full Santa suit and beard, after tapping around above us so we would know the reindeer and sleigh had arrived on the roof of the house!
Pedophile playing Santa at the mall = creepy. Grandpa playing Santa at home = priceless.