Asshole Convention.

Sometimes, there's an "asshole convention" at Au Bon Pain here in Downtown Crossing.

Dear "Betch" Behind Me In Line At Au Bon Pain,

Forgive me, please. I didn't realize the Asshole Convention started at 11:50am today.

But it's my bad. I should have realized that with the crowds here in Downtown for the Red Sox parade today, things would be a bit more crowded than usual. And that the Asshole Convention would be starting even more promptly than usual.

Normally, I get to Au Bon Pain to get my soup a little before noon to avoid the crowds and the usual Asshole Convention start time. So it's my fault, really. I should have been thinking ahead.

I should have expected you to get huffy and say curtly "PLEASE MOVE!" when I was standing in your way at the register, patiently waiting for the kind cashier to hand me my soup.

I should have anticipated things were not moving to your desired speed. And I certainly shouldn't have responded to you with "Wow! I didn't know the Asshole Convention was today!"

I mean, because I do know there is one every day at noon. So it would have been more proper to respond with,"Wow! I didn't know the Asshole Convention started early today!"

So I apologize.... For not anticipating your grumpiness and foul mood. And for not sniping back at you with a more accurate response.

Sorry.

-The Missus

P.S. Here's a pretty cute picture that I hope cheers you and the rest of the Asshole Convention up...