Oh New Starbucks Peeps...
Dear New Peeps Working At The Starbucks Near Borders Books In Downtown Crossing,
What the hell is wrong with you people?
I guess things are getting kind of stale at the Starbucks Corporation. And the talented baristas are flocking elsewhere to brew java. So all Starbucks has to pick from is sub-par talent.
So I can't really blame Starbucks. I mean, their talent pool just isn't competent these days. So I hold you, the New Peeps, personally responsible for sucking when it comes to making drinks.
All I freaking wanted was an iced venti non-fat latte. You know how to make that, New Starbucks Peeps? It's two shots of espresso from the automatic machine, into a cup of non-fat milk with ice.
Seriously, it's that simple.
So you can imagine my confusion as to why it took you about five minutes to make my drink, even though there weren't too many customers waiting. Seriously, why did it take you that long to make my cup of iced milk?
And most importantly...
Why the FUCK did you put the lid to my cup on wrong?
Thanks to your dumb asses, when I went to go take a sip out of the straw, the small opening where you neglected to secure the cup spilled latte down the front of my pretty dress. 
What the hell is wrong with you people?
I guess things are getting kind of stale at the Starbucks Corporation. And the talented baristas are flocking elsewhere to brew java. So all Starbucks has to pick from is sub-par talent.
So I can't really blame Starbucks. I mean, their talent pool just isn't competent these days. So I hold you, the New Peeps, personally responsible for sucking when it comes to making drinks.
All I freaking wanted was an iced venti non-fat latte. You know how to make that, New Starbucks Peeps? It's two shots of espresso from the automatic machine, into a cup of non-fat milk with ice.
Seriously, it's that simple.
So you can imagine my confusion as to why it took you about five minutes to make my drink, even though there weren't too many customers waiting. Seriously, why did it take you that long to make my cup of iced milk?
And most importantly...
Why the FUCK did you put the lid to my cup on wrong?
Thanks to your dumb asses, when I went to go take a sip out of the straw, the small opening where you neglected to secure the cup spilled latte down the front of my pretty dress.
(Thanks a latte, assholes.)
Fuck you, New Starbucks Peeps.
Truly,
The Missus
Fuck you, New Starbucks Peeps.
Truly,
The Missus
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