Tips To Avoid Germs While In Flight.

I know so many people going on vacation in the next few weeks. Turks & Caicos, Aruba, Ireland, Chicago, Costa Rica... Just to name a few of the destinations of choice. It's vacation season, and people are anxious to get on their flights and get "chill-laxing."

Or are they?

I have heard so many people freaking out in the past 48 hours over the Swine Flu - oh, excuse me, the 2009 H1N1 virus - that I am calling "unnecessary hysteria" on this one. Yes, this is a new form of influenza that humans have not seen before, nor are we naturally immune to it. BUT, there are ways you can avoid this flu (which is being spread person-to-person)... And it involves good manners.

Yes... Wash your freaking hands, cover your eff-ing mouth when you cough, use a freaking tissue when you sneeze - and throw it away... You know, shit you should already be doing as a functioning adult.

Now, of course, you have to factor in the children... Children are naturally dirty little bastards. (I know most children are not bastards... I just wanted to write it.) And you can be as sterile as humanly possible around children, and they will still track in the nasty illnesses. It can be worse than the scary-looking prostitutes we saw sitting in the windows in Brussels... If you have kids or work with kids, you know: You are forever wiping them down.

You carry antibacterial wipes and gels with you. And the damn kids still get freaking sick. Which in turn gets you sick. And you work for assholes who won't allow you to work from home, so you go into work sick. And you try to be conscientious of what you touch (Unlike that skanky person who leaves their freaking fingernail clippings on the conference room table!), but you manage to get others sick.

It is the same with vacations too... You've worked long hours. You and your family planned the vacation months ago. Hell can freeze over before you decide you're not going to go because of a freaking illness. So you get on a plane for a few hours, and you practice your good manners... Hoping you get no one else sick. And others on the plane appreciate your efforts, and are simultaneously taking preventative measures to avoid your (and anyone else's) germs.

Here are some of those measures:

1. Carry tissues. And throw them away after you use them.
2. Cover your mouth when you cough. (Duh!) And don't be afraid to ask someone else to do the same if they don't. But please do it politely. No need to get the air marshall involved.
3. Drink carbonated water. (This one comes from Cheap Chic Travel.) "Carbonated water means the water is fresh and free of bacteria; esp helpful tip when traveling to remote places."
4. Use antibacterial wipes to swab down your area on the plane.
5. Swab your nostrils with Zicam. It's meant for warding off colds... But it can help with flu germs too.

In my opinion, there's no need for a surgical mask for the plane. That just creates the "unnecessary hysteria." And I will bitch slap you if I am on a flight and you get hysterical. Air marshall be damned.