If All You Have To Do Is Whine, Just Shut The Hell Up.

I'm not big on whiners. I have a very strict philosophy (which I learned through my own personal experience):

"Don't whine and complain about something unless you are willing to do something to change it. Otherwise, keep your fucking thoughts to yourself."

Aggressive? No. Bitchy? Absolutely!

But it is something I learned back when I lived in NYC and was working at The Evil Empire. I would spend hours working on bridal projects for some of the biggest BITCH-TASTIC brides on Manhattan's Upper East Side. I had an evil plotting colleague whose middle name was "Commission Stealing Sabotage." Our CEO was going through an investigation (which you all may or may not know about), so I constantly feared for my job. I was working long hours to problem solve and would then go home at the end of the day and eat mindlessly while watching TV.

And, of course, I would whine. To my lovely boss (who to this day was one of my best professional mentors)... To my boyfriend (now husband - GOD! Am I lucky he still wanted to propose and marry me after that!)... To my friends (who I never saw, because I was so busy at work)...

But you know what? I never did anything about my situation EXCEPT whine. And after I left the job and moved to Boston, I realized what a waste of energy it was to whine about it all. To whine about it, and then to come home at 8pm at night and emotionally eat.

And that brings me to my point...

I can not handle it when all people do is complain. I get that it can be overwhelming and scary to stand up for yourself and/or take action. But if all you have on your daily agenda is to complain when people disagree with you, then perhaps you shouldn't get out of bed and come into work.

Just stay home. Save the jobs and opportunities for people who are going to fix things and TRY to make changes. Not just sit around and complain...

And gain 10 pounds from eating the entire bag of Cool Ranch Doritos without realizing it.

Comments

H!L said…
w o r d .

i'm currently having a lot of issues with my own business/publication with criticism [destructive as opposed to constructive, mostly] outweighing productivity and it's frustrating as i'm kind of allergic to bullshit [as you know.] i read this post exactly when i needed to see it, so gracias, m'dear.
Jobs Are Hard - Not That You'd Know said…
Well its a good thing you took the proactive step to stop working entirely - that way you have nothing to complain about! Except maybe a slightly too hot soy latte. It's hysterical to me that you actually feel qualified to give advice to people trying to muddle through their stressful and challenging workdays when you wile away the hours doing yoga and reading fashion magazines.
That Girl! said…
I do think that age and experience has much to do with how we handle ourselves in life and at work. For example, I had a great employee who I adore like a kid sister. She's got unbelievable potential and I see so much of myself in her. Sometimes she just sets upon whining and whining and whining. I get to the point where I want to shake her and be like "XYZ the world is your oyster! You're smart, cute, young, go do it!!!".

I think that we all come to an understanding of how to make it in life on our own terms and in our own way. I just pity people who decide that the only answer to life is to whine about it all the time. I know they make life hard for those around them but just be glad you're not one of those peeps anymore! Whew!!!! Noone needs all that negative juju all the time!!! :)
Me said…
I am happy to have helped, Miss Hil!

Jean Therapy: So true! When you're younger in your career, you tend to freak out and whine about things... Not realizing you have the power to change them.

"Jobs Are Hard...": I don't drink soy lattes anymore. And I am MORE than qualified to give advice to people... As that is one of the reasons people read my blog. I have worked stressful jobs, but I CHOSE to deal with them differently than the whiners. I am guessing you are very much the martyr/whiner type. "Oh woes me... Sitting in my office here in Norwood, MA... Escaping for a few minutes by reading Legally Brunette's blog, then clicking the link to take me to On Common Ground... Reading about The Missus... And wanting to make myself feel good by cyber-bullying her for a few minutes."

Go back to work, "Jobs..." So that you have something to whine about later this evening to whoever will listen to you.
Unknown said…
I agree. Everyone goes through tough times and needs to vent, but when it becomes an ongoing thing I think it's just a sympathy-garnering scheme. We all know people who have the same complaints, over and over, and nothing seems to change. I used to try to sympathize and help find solutions, but I realized over time that these folks were just looking to complain. Now my strategy is to find any nugget of positivity in their complaint and spin it as a positive...Them: "I just know I'm going to get laid off..." Me: "What a great opportunity to move on to bigger and better things. Gotta run!"
Me said…
Amen, Kim!

That is a great way to nip it in the bud when people start to whine! Turn it into a positive! Help empower them to realize they can make a difference.
Jobs said…
Uhh..not in Norwood. But glad to see I have inspired a veritable FRENZY of twittering between you, Yum, and LB! You craaaazy cyber policewomen you!
Me said…
Wow, Jobs!

How sad is that?

I mean... Yum, LB and I are inquisitive gals, specifically when it comes to a jealous person posting nasty comments on our blogs.

But in addition to your nasty comments, it is also sad to see that you stalk us on Twitter too!

Girl... I recommend you stop hating yourself so much, and find something more productive to do with your time.

People don't like negative nags, like yourself!

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