No "Textual Relations" Allowed In This Bed.
I have a rule in the bedroom with The Husband... "No textual relations." Now, before you begin thinking that's something sexual... Please allow me to explain.
The Husband, like many people, has a problem with his Blackberry. But The Husband's problem isn't as severe as many people's problem with it. He doesn't obsessively check it every two minutes. He doesn't take it into the bathroom and scroll through it while shaving or peeing. In fact, the only habit he has with his Blackberry is that he likes to bring it into the bedroom... And it has to be the first thing he checks when he wakes up each morning.
Without fail, I am woken up each morning at about 7:15am by the sound of clicking. Annoying clicking. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click.
Click.
"If you're going to have textual relations in this bed," I scream at him, "You have to do it quietly! Click more softly!"
"But" he tries with a rebuttal, "You can't click softly with this thing."
"Then go do it in the living room!" I tell him. "I am trying to sleep!"
He huffs off, mumbling under his breath how it's "not his fault" and how he likes to spend the first 15 minutes of each day "catching up on overnight financial news."
I, on the other hand, happily roll over and fall back asleep. I do not stand for textual relations in bed. I may seem old fashioned... Victorian, maybe? But it was just the way I was raised*.
*And by "raised" I mean "it's just my rule."
The Husband, like many people, has a problem with his Blackberry. But The Husband's problem isn't as severe as many people's problem with it. He doesn't obsessively check it every two minutes. He doesn't take it into the bathroom and scroll through it while shaving or peeing. In fact, the only habit he has with his Blackberry is that he likes to bring it into the bedroom... And it has to be the first thing he checks when he wakes up each morning.
Without fail, I am woken up each morning at about 7:15am by the sound of clicking. Annoying clicking. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click.
Click.
"If you're going to have textual relations in this bed," I scream at him, "You have to do it quietly! Click more softly!"
"But" he tries with a rebuttal, "You can't click softly with this thing."
"Then go do it in the living room!" I tell him. "I am trying to sleep!"
He huffs off, mumbling under his breath how it's "not his fault" and how he likes to spend the first 15 minutes of each day "catching up on overnight financial news."
I, on the other hand, happily roll over and fall back asleep. I do not stand for textual relations in bed. I may seem old fashioned... Victorian, maybe? But it was just the way I was raised*.
*And by "raised" I mean "it's just my rule."
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