"Single" Is The "New Green?"
When I got married, I refused to let it change who I was. I was all for having it further me and my growth. But the core values I had to start with, I refused to compromise those just to be with someone. (Luckily, it never was an issue for The Husband and I. I mean, I still drink coffee and will eat chocolate for breakfast, despite his protests.)
So, I think marriage can be a wonderful thing... But one person is trying to justify that it may not be...
Did anyone else happen to catch this article in the "Coupling" section of the Globe Magazine this morning?: Single Rules - Why the un-married are the real do-gooders of the world
Now, before I start picking the writer's argument apart, let me tell you a little bit about my stance on legal couple-dom versus single-dom.
But this article struck a nerve with me. The writer comes across as being bitter she is not married. Does she really want to be married that badly?
In the piece, she argues that (based on a study), "While couples, especially childless ones, often focus on their marriage to the exclusion of other social ties, singles spread their energy over a broader sphere. Singles are more likely to help out friends and family. We are also more politically active and more helpful to our elderly parents than our married siblings. "
Um, really? Married couples (especially childless ones like The Husband and I) focus only on our marriage and exclude all broad social ties? I HIGHLY disagree with that. I think I have even more friends (who are at various stages of relationships in their personal lives) now then when I was single.
And, I am much more politically aware now that I am married. You want to know why? Because I can afford to be. Both emotionally and financially. I am not afraid to step up and challenge anything that I find to be questionable. And I can actually now afford to contribute to causes I believe in because I have that disposable income.
When I was single, I tended to be more focused (politically) on taking care of my well being. Now that I am married, I am much more focused on what is happening around me. So for the writer to make her above argument is weak, and merely illustrates her bitterness at the clueless people who assure her "it will be your (her) turn next."
And when it comes to caring for elderly family members, in my experience, it has always been the married siblings who are more responsible for this. It's because the single family members have much more on their plate with out the additional assistance and support of a spouse.
And what about the marriage tax? The Husband and I pay more in taxes as a couple than we did when we were single. Aren't we giving a significant contribution to American society by being married and giving so much of it back to Uncle Sam?
I don't think anyone can ever put into words whether it is better for society to have more married couples or singles. It's impossible. What needs to be taught to people is that you need to be who you are whether you are single or married. And, more importantly, if you do decide to get married, you can't let it change what's important to you.
So, I think marriage can be a wonderful thing... But one person is trying to justify that it may not be...
Did anyone else happen to catch this article in the "Coupling" section of the Globe Magazine this morning?: Single Rules - Why the un-married are the real do-gooders of the world
Now, before I start picking the writer's argument apart, let me tell you a little bit about my stance on legal couple-dom versus single-dom.
- I don't believe there is one "soul mate" out there for everyone. I believe there are MANY people you could meet, marry, and have a happy life with. It all just depends on what you want out of life, and whether you project that to others.
- I would never have gotten married myself if I hadn't met someone who compliments me as well as The Husband does. He's a rare find. And I am the type of person who DOES NOT compromise on much. "What you see is what you get" with me. The Husband gets that. Many other men have not.
- If, God forbid, something ever happened to my husband or I got divorced, I can 95% guarantee you that I would not remarry. I would definitely have long term relationships, and possibly even children, with others. But I would just simply not do the whole business of marriage again.
But this article struck a nerve with me. The writer comes across as being bitter she is not married. Does she really want to be married that badly?
In the piece, she argues that (based on a study), "While couples, especially childless ones, often focus on their marriage to the exclusion of other social ties, singles spread their energy over a broader sphere. Singles are more likely to help out friends and family. We are also more politically active and more helpful to our elderly parents than our married siblings. "
Um, really? Married couples (especially childless ones like The Husband and I) focus only on our marriage and exclude all broad social ties? I HIGHLY disagree with that. I think I have even more friends (who are at various stages of relationships in their personal lives) now then when I was single.
And, I am much more politically aware now that I am married. You want to know why? Because I can afford to be. Both emotionally and financially. I am not afraid to step up and challenge anything that I find to be questionable. And I can actually now afford to contribute to causes I believe in because I have that disposable income.
When I was single, I tended to be more focused (politically) on taking care of my well being. Now that I am married, I am much more focused on what is happening around me. So for the writer to make her above argument is weak, and merely illustrates her bitterness at the clueless people who assure her "it will be your (her) turn next."
And when it comes to caring for elderly family members, in my experience, it has always been the married siblings who are more responsible for this. It's because the single family members have much more on their plate with out the additional assistance and support of a spouse.
And what about the marriage tax? The Husband and I pay more in taxes as a couple than we did when we were single. Aren't we giving a significant contribution to American society by being married and giving so much of it back to Uncle Sam?
I don't think anyone can ever put into words whether it is better for society to have more married couples or singles. It's impossible. What needs to be taught to people is that you need to be who you are whether you are single or married. And, more importantly, if you do decide to get married, you can't let it change what's important to you.
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