I Didn't Realize That Was How You Milk A Sheep...

So... I've mentioned before that I am going to Tuscany in June. It's for a writers' conference... But built in to the agenda of the conference are non-writing activities... Like:

• Lollying by the pool.
• Touring local vineyards.
• Making limoncello. (And drinking it, I imagine.)
• Making pasta with a local grandmother.
• Making cheese.

But in order to make the cheese, one of the things we get to do is milk a sheep. And to be honest, I am looking forward to that. Or, I was... Till I realized where you have to stand to milk a sheep.

See, I thought you milked a sheep the same way you milked a cow. Now, I never milked a cow, but from what I've seen on TV and in movies, you stand to the side of the cow and reach for the udders. Not with sheep though.

With sheep, you sit behind them...



Yeah... So your chest is right in their ass. Making it very easy for the sheep to do any or all of the following to you:

1. Kick you.
2. Piss on you.
3. Shit on you.

Yeah. Good times. Good freaking times.

But I will be brave. I have two months to prepare myself for this task... Which will be photographed by my partner in crime. She will also be video-taping it. So there will be evidence. And you all will get to enjoy it.