Choose The Right Name.
Today's card from the tool kit read "Choose the right name." Below is my past experience with coming up with names for "characters" I have encountered.
Back when I worked with brides as a bridal consultant for the Evil Empire in an upper eastside Manhattan townhouse, I used to deal with high maintenance and evil brides on a daily basis.
There were a select few brides, though, that have earned a "special" place in my heart for being the most sincere b%tches ever to walk the face of this Earth.
I'm serious. They were just dreadful women. All who felt entitled to make each consultant's life a living hell.
The women who fell into this category came to be referred in the townhouse by their "special" name... One I had taken upon myself to christen them with. "Highlights" from this cast of characters included:
Winey Miney - This bride's first name was "Hermione." She was British. But she was a "b%tch." I still remember the time she called up to complain about how her consultant had never followed up with her to discuss somethings. I struggled with not laughing when I told her, "Yes, I am your consultant. I contacted you last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday to see if you could come in this past weekend." What a whiner!
Danger Salv* - This bride's real first name began with a "D." I gave her this name after she came into the townhouse one day and started screaming at all of us about something; all while her specific consultant hid in a supply closet in order to not be seen... Because this bride looked like she wanted to kick some @ss.
Terrible Tewes - This bride lived in a foreign country, but was getting married in NYC, near her family. The country she lived in wasn't exactly the best place to ship goods to from her registry. Often times, stuff that we tried to ship there would get returned because either customs didn't approve it or the delivery service couldn't locate her residence. She would call us up screaming that she needed to have her stuff the next day. We would, gently, remind her that she signed an agreement with us that was drafted specifically to her that shipping to her foreign country would be time-consuming and expensive; and she needed to account for that. We had recommended she ship to a U.S. address many times.
Psycho Sy*** - This bride was a fashion director at a women's magazine. She was British and was married to a fellow powerful Brit. One day she called up and started her "phone fit" by telling me, "This is Mrs. E***R*****. I have a problem with your service. My guests have had problems using your web site." Apparently, they didn't understand the mechanics of interacting with the Internet. She threw fits fast and often.
Crazy C**** - This bride was a well-known Manhattan PR girl. She was nasty and mean to even people who were her friends. She ran with a very powerful social crowd. One of her friends famously did "hard-time" after running someone over in the Hamptons. She did lots of messed up crap to us in the townhouse. The most messed up thing was the time she came in and ordered 18 John Maouk luxury waffle bathrobesfor her bridesmaids and had their names embroidered on each. We rushed the job in order to have them on time for her wedding day. We even went out of our way to messenger them to her office, which we did not do for our brides typically; but her order was so large we went out of our way. About an hour after we messengered them, we got a phone call from her screaming, "What the hell are these? They're all WAY too big. None of my bridesmaids is bigger than a size 2! I won't pay for them! I don't want them!" So, despite having her sign-off on the order after she tried on the sample robe, we took the robes back and didn't make her pay for them. (And because they had been customized with the embroidery, we couldn't return them to the vendor. So we ended up selling them for a $1 a piece at a tag sale. I ended up with one; though it doesn't have my name on it. It reads, "Ginny."
Also, a "Crazy C****" classic... This is the same bride who we had to order her fine china for TWICE. She had a china pattern that couldn't be put into dishwasher, as it would ruin. But yet, she would put it in the dishwasher after receiving it... And then would call us up screaming that we had never told her she couldn't put it in the dishwasher. (What a b%tch!)
Bran Muffin - This is a bride who was also a high-level editor at one of the empires magazines. You would think, since she worked for the same company, that she would be easier to deal with. You could think it. But you'd be completely wrong. She was one of the biggest pains. Why? Well, dealing with her was about as appealing as eating a bran muffin. (Thus her nick name.) She would spend hours asking us to do X, Y and Z for her. We'd do it. Then she'd come back to us after we did and say, "Oh... I didn't mean to really do it. I was just brainstorming. What I think I want is ...." Then, as you can guess... We would do it, and then she would change her mind. It was a never-ending cycle.
There were many more brides I gave nicknames to, but I don't want to make this blog entry too long. But choosing the right name for a person (whether they be a real character or an imagined one) is critical. It can really dictate what their personality is.
So, bottom line, if you ever need someone to come up with a nickname (or real name) for someone for you; please don't hesitate to contact me. I will be happy to oblige.
Back when I worked with brides as a bridal consultant for the Evil Empire in an upper eastside Manhattan townhouse, I used to deal with high maintenance and evil brides on a daily basis.
There were a select few brides, though, that have earned a "special" place in my heart for being the most sincere b%tches ever to walk the face of this Earth.
I'm serious. They were just dreadful women. All who felt entitled to make each consultant's life a living hell.
The women who fell into this category came to be referred in the townhouse by their "special" name... One I had taken upon myself to christen them with. "Highlights" from this cast of characters included:
Winey Miney - This bride's first name was "Hermione." She was British. But she was a "b%tch." I still remember the time she called up to complain about how her consultant had never followed up with her to discuss somethings. I struggled with not laughing when I told her, "Yes, I am your consultant. I contacted you last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday to see if you could come in this past weekend." What a whiner!
Danger Salv* - This bride's real first name began with a "D." I gave her this name after she came into the townhouse one day and started screaming at all of us about something; all while her specific consultant hid in a supply closet in order to not be seen... Because this bride looked like she wanted to kick some @ss.
Terrible Tewes - This bride lived in a foreign country, but was getting married in NYC, near her family. The country she lived in wasn't exactly the best place to ship goods to from her registry. Often times, stuff that we tried to ship there would get returned because either customs didn't approve it or the delivery service couldn't locate her residence. She would call us up screaming that she needed to have her stuff the next day. We would, gently, remind her that she signed an agreement with us that was drafted specifically to her that shipping to her foreign country would be time-consuming and expensive; and she needed to account for that. We had recommended she ship to a U.S. address many times.
Psycho Sy*** - This bride was a fashion director at a women's magazine. She was British and was married to a fellow powerful Brit. One day she called up and started her "phone fit" by telling me, "This is Mrs. E***R*****. I have a problem with your service. My guests have had problems using your web site." Apparently, they didn't understand the mechanics of interacting with the Internet. She threw fits fast and often.
Crazy C**** - This bride was a well-known Manhattan PR girl. She was nasty and mean to even people who were her friends. She ran with a very powerful social crowd. One of her friends famously did "hard-time" after running someone over in the Hamptons. She did lots of messed up crap to us in the townhouse. The most messed up thing was the time she came in and ordered 18 John Maouk luxury waffle bathrobesfor her bridesmaids and had their names embroidered on each. We rushed the job in order to have them on time for her wedding day. We even went out of our way to messenger them to her office, which we did not do for our brides typically; but her order was so large we went out of our way. About an hour after we messengered them, we got a phone call from her screaming, "What the hell are these? They're all WAY too big. None of my bridesmaids is bigger than a size 2! I won't pay for them! I don't want them!" So, despite having her sign-off on the order after she tried on the sample robe, we took the robes back and didn't make her pay for them. (And because they had been customized with the embroidery, we couldn't return them to the vendor. So we ended up selling them for a $1 a piece at a tag sale. I ended up with one; though it doesn't have my name on it. It reads, "Ginny."
Also, a "Crazy C****" classic... This is the same bride who we had to order her fine china for TWICE. She had a china pattern that couldn't be put into dishwasher, as it would ruin. But yet, she would put it in the dishwasher after receiving it... And then would call us up screaming that we had never told her she couldn't put it in the dishwasher. (What a b%tch!)
Bran Muffin - This is a bride who was also a high-level editor at one of the empires magazines. You would think, since she worked for the same company, that she would be easier to deal with. You could think it. But you'd be completely wrong. She was one of the biggest pains. Why? Well, dealing with her was about as appealing as eating a bran muffin. (Thus her nick name.) She would spend hours asking us to do X, Y and Z for her. We'd do it. Then she'd come back to us after we did and say, "Oh... I didn't mean to really do it. I was just brainstorming. What I think I want is ...." Then, as you can guess... We would do it, and then she would change her mind. It was a never-ending cycle.
There were many more brides I gave nicknames to, but I don't want to make this blog entry too long. But choosing the right name for a person (whether they be a real character or an imagined one) is critical. It can really dictate what their personality is.
So, bottom line, if you ever need someone to come up with a nickname (or real name) for someone for you; please don't hesitate to contact me. I will be happy to oblige.
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