Here's A Tip About Marriage...
When you're married, in my opinion, the best thing to have (at least till you decide to have children or if you own a business together) is your own checking accounts. Maybe share a savings account. But if you both have jobs, you should both have your own separate accounts to do with what you like.
What brought this un-sollicited advice out of me?
Well, I was reading this weekend's Styles section and came across this story on how a trend has been noticed of women paying cash for luxury goods for themselves in an effort to avoid the disapproving eye of their husbands.
Their husbands don't spend money on luxury goods for themselves, so the wives feel guilty doing it for themselves and feel they have to hide it.
I think this is WRONG. So WRONG.
I'm sorry... But if you're a woman who has a job, and you and your husband have drafted a budget and decided who is going to contribute to what in the household each month with their money; then you have NO ONE to answer to in how you spend your money.
If it's discretionary cash (meaning you aren't avoiding paying anything or contributing to savings by spending it), then you can do with it what you damn well please.
I would never tell my husband how to spend his money. And he would never tell me how to spend the money I earned. As long as we both stay committed to what we'd said we'd pay for in the household each month (and this includes saving what we agreed to save) then we can do what we want with it.
New jeans for The Missus? No problem. I have the money for it and he knows about the purchase. New Jimmy Choos for The Missus? Even though he doesn't understand my fascination with these shoes (they're pieces of art!), he will know about the purchases. Ten different fashion magazines to read each month? He knows I budget for those too. Just like I budget for all the groceries in our house; including shampoo, special energy bars and sports drinks that only he consumes.
It's all about partnership. And if one partner isn't meeting their obligation, fine. Otherwise, it's open season on spending what you want on whatever you want.
So really, separate checking accounts is a good idea. Because, for those of you who aren't married or living with someone yet, money is the first thing you always fight about. (Also as a rule, in my opinion, never share a checking account or purchase property with someone unless you are legally bound to them. It's just ASKING for problems.)
And there you have it.
What brought this un-sollicited advice out of me?
Well, I was reading this weekend's Styles section and came across this story on how a trend has been noticed of women paying cash for luxury goods for themselves in an effort to avoid the disapproving eye of their husbands.
Their husbands don't spend money on luxury goods for themselves, so the wives feel guilty doing it for themselves and feel they have to hide it.
I think this is WRONG. So WRONG.
I'm sorry... But if you're a woman who has a job, and you and your husband have drafted a budget and decided who is going to contribute to what in the household each month with their money; then you have NO ONE to answer to in how you spend your money.
If it's discretionary cash (meaning you aren't avoiding paying anything or contributing to savings by spending it), then you can do with it what you damn well please.
I would never tell my husband how to spend his money. And he would never tell me how to spend the money I earned. As long as we both stay committed to what we'd said we'd pay for in the household each month (and this includes saving what we agreed to save) then we can do what we want with it.
New jeans for The Missus? No problem. I have the money for it and he knows about the purchase. New Jimmy Choos for The Missus? Even though he doesn't understand my fascination with these shoes (they're pieces of art!), he will know about the purchases. Ten different fashion magazines to read each month? He knows I budget for those too. Just like I budget for all the groceries in our house; including shampoo, special energy bars and sports drinks that only he consumes.
It's all about partnership. And if one partner isn't meeting their obligation, fine. Otherwise, it's open season on spending what you want on whatever you want.
So really, separate checking accounts is a good idea. Because, for those of you who aren't married or living with someone yet, money is the first thing you always fight about. (Also as a rule, in my opinion, never share a checking account or purchase property with someone unless you are legally bound to them. It's just ASKING for problems.)
And there you have it.
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