Monday Is When All The Assholes Come Out.
Yeah... You read that right. it's a hot, rainy, muggy Monday here in Boston... And that brings out the asshole in all of us. I, myself, have encountered a few major assholes this morning.
The first few were at the bagel shop across the street. I decided to hit it on my way into work. Once inside, the line wasn't too long, but there were a few people taking extremely long in line. I pegged them as "a little asshole-ish." They kept changing their order and asking questions from the bagel experts behind the counter. Then they would decide, after the cream cheese had already been put on, that they wanted their bagel toasted. Or that they meant "light" cream cheese instead of the regular kind.
Then the line to pay for bagels took forever. People were slow with getting their money out. They would decide that they in fact did want coffee, after they had already paid. These were just assholes who didn't have their act together. And I can kind of understand, it is Monday morning. Sometimes we are all slow on Monday mornings.
Then, I encountered the major asshole of my day.
As I was walking from the bagel shop to my building, I had a crowd of commuters walking towards me. This often happens, as my building's entrance is small and on a busy walkway. So, to get out of their way, and still be able to duck into my building, I moved all the way to the left... Walking up against the wall. right as I was about to turn left into my building, this big fat-assed mother fucking piece of shit asshole in a blue and re-striped polo shirt decided he wanted to come and stand in front of me... Blocking my way into the building.
Apparently, he wanted to walk against the wall too... But with people walking on my right in the opposite direction, and him blocking my way, I couldn't get around him to get into my building. He kind of nudged me to move. That's when I punched his arm and shoved him. He moved around me and just kept walking. I screamed at him...
"Excuse you... You mother fucking piece of shit asshole! Watch where the fuck you're going piece of shit!"
I was not in the best frame of mind to come up a better response, other than spewing cheap swear words.
I am glad I pushed him back and punched his arm though. (Not that I could do much damage.)
I hope the asshole encounters stop for today. However, it is not even noon yet. So there are many more asshole opportunities for today.
The first few were at the bagel shop across the street. I decided to hit it on my way into work. Once inside, the line wasn't too long, but there were a few people taking extremely long in line. I pegged them as "a little asshole-ish." They kept changing their order and asking questions from the bagel experts behind the counter. Then they would decide, after the cream cheese had already been put on, that they wanted their bagel toasted. Or that they meant "light" cream cheese instead of the regular kind.
Then the line to pay for bagels took forever. People were slow with getting their money out. They would decide that they in fact did want coffee, after they had already paid. These were just assholes who didn't have their act together. And I can kind of understand, it is Monday morning. Sometimes we are all slow on Monday mornings.
Then, I encountered the major asshole of my day.
As I was walking from the bagel shop to my building, I had a crowd of commuters walking towards me. This often happens, as my building's entrance is small and on a busy walkway. So, to get out of their way, and still be able to duck into my building, I moved all the way to the left... Walking up against the wall. right as I was about to turn left into my building, this big fat-assed mother fucking piece of shit asshole in a blue and re-striped polo shirt decided he wanted to come and stand in front of me... Blocking my way into the building.
Apparently, he wanted to walk against the wall too... But with people walking on my right in the opposite direction, and him blocking my way, I couldn't get around him to get into my building. He kind of nudged me to move. That's when I punched his arm and shoved him. He moved around me and just kept walking. I screamed at him...
"Excuse you... You mother fucking piece of shit asshole! Watch where the fuck you're going piece of shit!"
I was not in the best frame of mind to come up a better response, other than spewing cheap swear words.
I am glad I pushed him back and punched his arm though. (Not that I could do much damage.)
I hope the asshole encounters stop for today. However, it is not even noon yet. So there are many more asshole opportunities for today.
Comments
we even made up a song to sing to the DBs who feel that if they don't get up MINUTES before the train stops, they won't possibly get off the train in time...
grrr to Mondays!
And the people in line buying bagels and fiddling with change - I agree. There should be a special line for these types, kind of like a reverse HOV lane that caters to the slow and deliberate.